Virgin Territory...
Part 2
He locked the door and walked to sit next to me on the edge of the bed. "Who do you think you are? You can't do this to me." My tears began to fall slowly as if we were stuck in slow motion. "Quinn I'm sorry.. but you don't understand.. She needed me and I thought I could be there for her but all I could do was miss you, regret letting you go, and think about you 24/7. I haven't got any work done I'm constantly wondering what your doing if your okay?" He looked at me as if searching for some kind of sign as to what I was feeling. "She needed you?" I looked at him as if he we're a puzzle I couldn't solve. "What about what I needed.. I needed you but you didn't care. You distanced yourself from me you were cold towards me.. you made me feel as nothing and completely small like if we were nothing." Now my tears we're falling heavy and I was standing as far away as I could from him. "I'm sorry you were right.. but it was easier to let you go that way or at least at the time I felt like it was. Than when you flinched when I tried to touch you.. it broke my fucken heart and that's not what I wanted." He approached me and I had finally run out of room to escape from him. He pressed his forehead against mine and placed his hands on my arms. He looked me in the eyes and I wanted to throw myself at him but I couldn't.. I just couldn't. I turned my head to the left but that didn't budge him. Finally he tried to wrap his arms around me. "No.. no don't touch me." And for the fourth time I flinched at his touch. I raised my hands up in defense. "Why are you doing this to me?" I turned at met his gaze. Which made him lift up his head to look at me. "You don't get to do this to me whenever you want me. Whenever it's convenient for you to need me. I'm not your property. I'm not your girl. So just stop with the fucken I'm sorry's." He saw it the pain, the anger, and the hell that I had been through that past month. That backed him up a little and I don't know what possessed me to breakdown in front of him but I did. "Why did you do this to me? What do I do from here. I don't want to live without you because I'm helplessly in love with you and all I want is to be with you, I want you more than anything." He looks at me as if he's trying to find the right thing to say. My tears are falling heavy now and instead of speaking he wraps his arms around me again. "I wanted to tell you that night that I loved you but instead you got scared and you ran away and you shut me out. Why do you push me away?" I pushed him on his chest and he still wouldn't budge. I sank to the floor in his arms and he went down with me never releasing me. "What do I do?" I look up at him tears streaming down my face. "Let me fix it" He says looking at me straight in the eyes and for some I nod my head in acceptance or maybe defeat? He puts his right hand on my cheek and for the fifth time I flinched at his touch but he continued. He grabbed my face and kissed me roughly. Suddenly he laid me down on the floor with him on top of me. He began to make his way to my neck nibbling at it. I could feel his erection in my hip. He kept his his right hand on my left cheek and brought his left down to my left breast. He began to caress it which I responded to with a moan and I felt him get harder on top of me. He began grinding up against me and I could feel the desire in me, in him. His desire to fix us. I think. Suddenly he stopped and brought me up to stand while he did the same. He began lifting up my dress just around my stomach I had red stocking's on which I think he approved of. God how I wanted him. He pulled my red underwears off and tossed them on the floor beside us. "Let me fix it." He repeated again looking at me for what seemed like a sign. Maybe I should've stopped him but I didn't. He unzipped his pants and lifted me up I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. He pushed inside me roughly, wanting me. I threw my head back and moaned in pleasure. He began to move. "Oh fuck." He said. Thrusting inside me roughly man that felt good. He kept moving picking up the pace. In and out in and out. I continued to moan in pleasure and I could feel him inside me getting harder and harder. He grabbed my face and began kissing me roughly again all while thrusting in and out of me. Finally I began to feel something. Something I wasn't familiar with, and with that. My first orgasm hit me as I moaned out in pure ecstasy. He put his mouth on mine while his orgasm shot in me and than he whispered "I love you" right on my lips as if making me believe him. Maybe I did believe him or maybe it was just the fanatic sex we just had but I loved hearing those words. He withdrew from me and I put my legs down back onto earth once again. He continued to stare at me with his big deep dark brown eyes. When something caught his attention. He looked down at the floor and his eyes grew wide he looked up at me. "Fuck Quinn your a virgin?" I turned my gaze away from him and to the floor there it was a small puddle of blood. Holy fuck was all I thought... I sank down to the floor: speechless was all I was. He squated down and took my hand and for the sixth time I flinched at his touch. "Fuck stop.. stop doing that to me." He said very loudly. "What?" I asked him as loud as I could get my voice. "Flinching everytime I touch you." I sigh a frustrated breath and roll my eyes at him. "Quinn I didn't know you were a virgin why didn't you tell me?" "Was.." He gave me a don't start now smart ass look. "In the 6 months that we dated you weren't able to pick that up?" I snapped. But he's right why didn't I say anything? Is it simple enough to say I forgot? Does that make me stupid? Or was me wanting him enough for it to slip my mind. He got up and went into the bathroom leaving me alone with my thoughts. He came back with a towel and began to clean up the blood. Half way through it, it was as if he came to a realization "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you stop me?" "What does it matter? You got what you wanted." I answered kind of rudely. He than took my hand and for the seventh time I flinched at his touch. He sighed in frustration "I could've made it special for you. Your gonna remember your first time was on the floor in someone else's house next to the bathroom door." Oh he sounded so sweet but I am still pissed at him so get your shit together Quinn. I pulled my hand away from him "It's fine.. I'm fine." I grabbed my underwears and pulled them back on I made myself presentable and began making my way to the door. "Quinn where are you going..? Quinn!" He grabbed my right arm and forced me to look at him. "What!" I snapped. "Don't leave me." He pleaded. It was a plea of desperation. "I have never felt more alone in my entire life than what I did when you left that night." "I'm sorry" I whispered and gave a shrug. I pulled my arm free and made my way back to the party. I looked up to see Zachary waiting there at the bottom of the stairs. He put his hand out to me and I took it. He pulled me into him and I felt safe. As if he could make my monsters go away. He held me there and Seth made made his made his way past us our gazes met and and I just pulled Zachary closer to me. "You okay?" He whispered looking down at me. All I could do was shrug. Was I okay? Would I be okay? What was I supposed to do from here? What would Seth want to do from here? "Zachary, I'm leaving already." I couldnt be there any longer I needed to sort stuff out I pulled him into a hug. "What your not staying?" He asked. I knew he worried about me but I honestly just wanted to be left alone. "No.. no its Lawrence's birthday. So give him a good one" I whispered seductively in his ear. We began to laugh when Lawrence made his way to us and I gave him a quick hug and a kiss and dismissed myself. I started wondering where Seth was and a small pinge of disappointment hit me on the thought that he just left. I made my way to the front door and a small hint of relief hit me when I heard his voice. Of course there he was waiting for me. "We need to talk." He said. "Yea we do but not now I want to be alone." My gaze was at the floor I turned to make eye contact with him. "Please" I whispered. He sympathized with me I could see that. "I don't want you to be alone." He approached me "come back to my place I'll leave you alone all you want but I want you to know that I was serious when I said I loved you and I want to be there with you. However you want me I'll do it." I don't know what possessed me or why I did it but I looked back down to the floor and began to nod my head. "Okay, I'll go with you." I whispered. The smile he gave me right than and there made me feel the same way I had felt 7 months ago. As if he was something I had always waited for. He used to be my reasons for getting out of bed. To stay up all night and feel as if nothing could bring me down. So how did we get back to that? Would we be able to? We got into his car and made our way back to his place. It started as a quiet ride and as always he broke the silence. "Are you okay?" I nodded my head and turned to look out the window and began to think back to 7 months ago the first time we met.
