infatuation // lashton

06

When I close my eyes and try to sleep, I fall apart I'm fighting hard to breath,

you're the reason, the only reason.

~The Only Reason, 5 Seconds of Summer

~~~

Luke tapped his fingers anxiously on his thigh. Okay, he only texted Ashton 30 minutes ago, but 30 minutes is a really long time if you ask him. After getting reminded 5 times by Michael to 'chill the fuck out, dude', Luke resorted to tracing the darkening brown drawing on his forearm. Ashton was so talented; Luke couldn't help but find himself thinking about what else he could do with his hands.

Luke recieved a smack upside the head from Michael when he accidentally wondered that out loud.

Finally, finally, after an hour and a half, Ashton texted him back. 

Luke and Ashton texted each other for hours. They didn't even talk about anything too important; though everything Ashton said was important to Luke. Luke was smiling the whole time. And by around 11:30 at night, his cheeks where starting to cramp up. So, before he and Ashton called it a night, they made arrangements to meet up at Ashton's work the following day at 3:00. They exchanged goodnights and Luke had the best sleep he'd had in 4 years.

 ~

Ashton always has a hard time sleeping. His doctor says he has insomnia, but Ashton hates that word, so he likes to say he just has 'a very active imagination' instead. 

For a while, when him and Calum started to sleep together in the same bed, Ashton's insomnia started to get a little better (Ashton found it comforting to listen to Calum's heartbeat, he felt safe wrapped up in his arms). But, when things between the two started getting a little rocky, he found Calum's presence more crowding than reassuring.

Ashton found himself particularly unhappy sleeping inside at night; the only way he can get a really great sleep in is when he's in his tree house, but Calum told him that 'treehouses are for children', so he rarely gets to sleep up there anymore. 

Ashton doesn't think he really loves Calum anymore. He tried so hard to love him, really. But he doesn't get those butterflies in his stomach like he used to, he doesn't get the same rush when they kiss anymore. Ashton finds himself thinking about Luke more these days.

He's not exactly sure about how he feels towards Luke. Ashton doesn't want to look directly at the feelings he's having, he's scared he might confuse himself with them; so he let's them sit quietly in the back of his mind.

But Ashton really, really wants to know what it would be like to fall asleep in Luke's arms. So, that night, when he snuggles in to Calum's embrace, he tries his best to imagine that it was Luke's heart softly beating against his cheek.

Of course, Calum doesn't smell like cherries and mint like Luke does, but he finds himself falling asleep faster than usual.