if i love you was a promise | b.e

twenty eight

i was in the bathroom the next morning when billie came in.

"im ready." she said confidently.

i looked at her, confused. "huh?" i asked after spitting out my toothpaste.

"oh." i said giddily. "really?"

"i thought about it, and it's been long enough. i don't know what i was so scared of. you know, fuck it. let's tell them."

a huge grin grew on my lips. "you're kidding."

"i mean, only if you want t-"

"shut up, oh my god!" i ran up to her, wrapping my arms around her. "let's do it." i smiled at her, leaning back to look at her. billie held a huge smile too. i spun her around, lifting her up into my arms.

as soon as i let her down, she pressed her lips on mine, holding my face in her hands.

pulling away, she said, "the last few days have been crazy, but it all just made me realise how much i love you. i never want to be away from you. im more committed than ive ever been."

"god, billie, im so happy you want to tell them. i can't wait." i smiled, pecking her lips again. "and i love you more."

we had been together almost four months now, but only started really loving eachother two months ago. it was crazy how fast things could happen. there was just one month left of tour, which was going to need to be a topic in conversation soon. i knew those four weeks would pass a lot faster than i wanted.

we made our way down to breakfast, finding the rest of the family waiting as always.

"we've got something to tell you guys." billie glanced at me as we all sat down.

everyone looked at us in anticipation, waiting to eat until after we told them.

"we're, uh.." billie let out a laugh. "we're gonna tell them about us."

patrick started clapping in the corner, maggie cheered and finneas reached out to high five us both. everyone seemed so happy. they really felt like my family now. i genuinely wanted to be a part of their lives for as long as i could. seeing their reactions made me realise just how much they supported us.

"that made my day." finneas shook his head, smiling while cutting his toast.

"what's the plan for action?" patrick asked.

"we were thinking of doing a livestream tomorrow." i told them.

"always thought that was the best plan." he nodded at us, making us both laugh.

"im so proud of you both. you've handled this whole situation perfectly, even with its ups and downs." maggie said sweetly.

"im just excited to be able to talk about her, finally." billie sighed, looking at me with loving eyes and taking my hand under the table.

"aww." finneas pouted, making me blush. billie smiled at me, brushing my flushed cheek with her hand before focusing on her food.

***

billie and i thought we should call my mom to tell her about us before we announced it to the whole world. billie was going on stage in ten minutes so we had to be fast.

thankfully my mom picked up after two or three rings.

"mom." i smiled as her face appeared on the screen.

"hi joey, how's everything? and hi billie!"

"hey." billie smiled at her.

"um, we actually have something to tell you and it's gotta be quick because billie has to go on." i licked my lips nervously.

"what is it?" my mom frowned.

billie suddenly got shy and backed away from the phone. i pouted at her as she looked down with an embarrassed smile on her face.

"billie and i are, like... together." i shrugged.

my mom didn't reply for a moment. "you're telling me billie's you're girlfriend?"

i nodded, looking over at billie who was biting her lip nervously.

"how do you get so lucky, joey?" my mom laughed, making us both sigh from relief.

"i don't know. i don't deserve her." i smiled, startled as billie leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

"aww." my mom cooed. "how cute. good luck tonight, billie."

"thank you." billie smiled. we said goodbye and hung up.

"what made you so nervous, bozo?" i playfully shoved her arm.

"i was afraid she'd get mad or something." billie shrugged.

"bro, she's hyped about all of this." i kissed billie's soft forehead.

"your mom is incredible." she chuckled.

"i love her." i agreed.

"hey, um, joey?" billie changed the subject, fiddling with her fingers.

"i might bring up the whole... bisexual thing tonight. you think that's a bad idea?"

"baby, it's a big part of your life. if you want to talk about it, talk about it." i took her hand and rubbed it with my thumb.

"alright." she smiled as finneas walked backstage. "two minutes." he said, messing up billies hair as he passed.

billie went to tell finneas when she wanted to talk about it right before they went on stage. she blew me a kiss before running on. hearing the crowd scream just like every night was a feeling id never get used to. that's my girl.

***

"like it like that..."

billie finished when the party's over and waited for the applause to finish.

"so, um, before this next song i just want to talk to you real quick." she started, i listened closely.

"yesterday, someone posted pictures of me.." the crowd started talking.

"with a girl.." billie chuckled and they all cheered.

"look, that was not how i wanted to tell you guys, obviously, it was really hard for me to be outed like that to the whole world..."

"fuck them!" someone screamed from the crowd making billie laugh.

"right."

"anyway... i just want to let you know it was me, it was a girl, and it was a kiss. i hope that doesn't change how you see me because that would be disgusting as fuck."

everyone cheered loudly, making me tear up. they're all so supportive, i knew they would be.

"you know, she's right over there and you don't even know." billie waved at me, making everyone cheer louder.

"you'll know about her soon, don't worry." she chuckled. "i really love her and i think you guys will too."

she looked back at me again and i showed her a huge smile and she returned it. i blew her a kiss and she blew one back, making everyone scream again.

as i looked at her up on stage, i thought maybe everything would be ok after all.