if i love you was a promise | b.e

thirty three

another month passed swiftly and billie and i were better than ever. i did forget about bella for the most part, and when i did think about her i thought about the night in australia on the bus. since that day billie and i had been so much more careless, like all that really mattered was eachother. even though i spent all day every day with her, there wasn't a moment when i took her for granted.

we were in ireland now for a festival. the festival was in dublin, but since billie and finneas hadn't been there before we were travelling around the country. we decided to stay a day on an island off the coast where people wouldn't really know us so we could walk around without being recognised.

"where we going today?" billie asked happily as we stood in the bathroom brushing our teeth.

"i guess we'll just look around." i yawned as i finished off.

i kissed the side of her head before walking out to get dressed.

we were staying in a beautiful b&b with white brick walls and a red roof. the front garden was filled with flowers and trees and it looked like a fairytale house.

as billie and i stepped outside after we ate, we looked around in awe. we had come after dark last night and hadn't gotten a proper chance to admire our surroundings.

"maybe we should just stay here." billie smiled.

"id be down." i chuckled, opening the gate for billie to go through.

we talked about whatever came to mind for a while, wandering aimlessly along the country roads. billie and i hadn't been able to relax so much outside ever before. we weren't looking at eachother, just holding eachothers hand and swinging our arms as we went along.

a dog came out of no where, making us both jump. billie was straight down to pet it, making me giggle as i joined her. it got scared at the sudden additional attention and backed about a metre away. when billie tried to go back over to it, it started running away.

"what have you done?" i whispered playfully as we watched it. before i could say another word billie was running after it. i was practically forced to join her.

the run lasted for a good ten minutes until the dog ran into a house. we sighed in defeat as we watched the owner close the door.

"where the fuck are we?" billie said, trying to catch her breath. we looked around and realised we were near where we had gotten off the boat. there was a tiny corner shop and five picnic tables lined along a wall which was looking onto the beach.

"ok, ive gotta pee after that." i chuckled, pulling my hair to the back of my head.

"me too." billie sighed with a laugh, heading toward the public bathrooms.

we were in there for a minute before i heard billie leave her stall. she stayed there to wait for me.

"hey, billie?" i heard a strangers voice.

"hey!" billie replied, trying to cover how disappointed she was that she was recognised. i knew her, i could hear it.

"oh my god, i can't believe you're actually here." the girl said to her. "can i have a picture?"

"of course." billie replied.

i heard laughing and then silence. i frowned, wondering what was going on.

i froze in my position, making sure i wouldn't make any noise so i could listen carefully. i heard a yelp come from billie and immediately freaked out but couldn't make myself move.

i continued to listen, still not hearing anything but what seemed like white noise.

then billie yelled, "joey!"

i immediately burst out of the stall, stunned by what i saw.

the girl stepped away from billie and ran out of the bathrooms.

i looked back at billie, my mouth hanging open.

she let out a shallow breath, and put her hands on her hair, which was all messed up.

"what just happened?" i whispered.

billies hair was all over the place, the buttons on her shirt were half undone and her backpack was on the ground.

her eyes stayed wide as a tear fell.

i rushed straight over to her. "billie, what happened?" i repeated.

"she-" billie started, her own cries interrupting her.

my blood boiled hearing billie so upset. did that really just happen again?

i put on my hand on the back of her head as she let it fall into my chest.

"did she touch you, billie?" i asked, anxiety consuming me. i felt billie's head nod. i had to gulp to calm myself down.

"did she hurt you?"

billie nodded again. "yes." she breathed, making it hard for me to keep myself from crying.

i pulled her closer to me as she curled into my chest and tried to muffle her sobs.

"shit, billie." i kissed the top of her head, knowing the best thing i could do was hold her.

why did this always happen to her? even in a place in the middle of the ocean, she wasn't safe. it filled me with the worst feeling of hopelessness.

***

billie and i went home in silence, going to bed straight away even though it was 8pm.

billies face was all blotchy and red. we had spent at least thirty minutes just standing there in that bathroom, and we only let because everyone who was eating in the cafe was coming to use it.

we went up to our room and got straight into bed, not needing to converse.

as billie crawled into the bed beside me, i wrapped my arms around her and stroked her soft hair. she shivered as she warmed up in contact with my body.

"you know you're precious, billie. some people just don't know how to treat something so beautiful." i whispered.

"

joey?"

"yeah?"

billie turned around, bringing her face close to my face, looking into my eyes.

"will you promise to come back here with me again? can this be our special place?"

"you still like it here?" i frowned.

"that one bad thing has nothing on the good things." billie whispered back, making me smile a little. what did i do to deserve her?

i nodded. "yeah. of course." i kissed her forehead and watched her close her eyes, a peaceful smile resting on her lips.

everything she did and said inspired me to be a better person, for her and for myself. she taught me a lot.