The Internship || Kim Namjoon Fanfiction

The Internship || Chapter 10: The Afteraffect

I do not know how to specify the pain i'm feeling in my chest right now. I even do not know how should i try to solve it becase i don't know what is it.

And the reason to that is because it is not physical, it's mental. I just felt close to a heart attack, acually it burned like a gun shot to the heart.

"Answer me. Did you or did you not use us to stay in here?" RM interfired knowing i will probqbly answer him. His disappointment was so clear in his eyes that made me not want to look. I looked in the small gap between his eyebrows and said "no."

"No? How dare you come here and lie on top of it?" Suga answered what RM could not. However i did not look at him, i just kept staring at RM's brow gap.
"I am not lying." With all the pain i felt, i answered quite coldly. Without any emotion what so ever. Like a doctor would answer his client if he would tell him he has a terminal condition.

Now, you are probably wondering why the heck did i answer no?
That's a good question that i can't answer...
On one hand, it's a firm yes. I did use this job to get away with facing my heartbroken boyfeind, angry dad and other terrible counsenqeces. But on the other hand, i did it because i wanted to make that dream of the fan girl in me come true. To be so close to them, to talk to them, see them on real life? That was a dream away.

So i tried to get away with their fury. Not that i've suceeded.
"I don't believe you." Suga looked at me with piercing eyes and clenched his fists.
"You know what? You don't have to believe me, not trust me. I am your doctor. And for whatever reason i got here or the one you think i did, is not important.
I was chosen by your manager not because if who i am, but because if what i can do. I am a good studant and i WILL be a great doctor. Wather i'm a good person or not in your book, does not matter. Now please, leave my office."

He nodded with fury and stormed out.
RM stayed to stand and watched me with caution. He looked in my eyes and his expression changed into a softer one.
"Whatever happen before, is truly not important. I look into your eyes and i see an honast woman who just wants to help us.. but it seems like somthing did happen to you. I don't know what but it's sonthing... you are free to tepl ne as a friend." As soon as he said that last word, he quickly turned around and left.

Okay Lucy... it's over for now.

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Six months have passed since that day.
Things between bangtan and i were not the same. Suga never spoke a word to me, and the rest of the members believed him over me. The maknae line are closer to me, espacially tae, but the huyng line are wary.

RM tries his best to stay nutral but i know that deep inside he is not with me. He still believes that i am using them, and to be honast, i can't blame him. I would have done the same.

Tae is a sweetheart. He is trying everything in his power to help me feel better. Bangtan has reharsals everyday. They practice for 14 hours and get a half an hour break in the middle for lunch time. He eats with them for ten minates and then says that he need to go to the bathroom' and then comes to my office.
Suga never said a word to anyone exept Bantan but i knew it wasn't out of mercy.

So you are probably asking why am i eating by myself in my office? The answer (love myself haha) is the looks. They look at me. And not the good way. As if they are looking at a murdurer.

Tae immidiatly noticed that so he joined me for lunch ever since. He always says: 'don't worry Lucy-ssi. They will come to understand you like i did.'
However, no matter how much he said it every day in those past six months, i never believed him and just stopped caring.