The Internship || Kim Namjoon Fanfiction

The Internship || Chapter 40: The quiet after the storm

Quiet.

This is one word to describe what was going on in that apartment.

In two words? Complete silence.

From the one hand, I was absolutely speechless. How... what... huh? How did the Lucy I knew, the fighter, the orgenized, well dressed and always took care of her looks, became that? Yes, I know that's her house and she can wear whatever she wants. But you don't understand... Lucy is very well dressed, always! We had some emergencies in the middle of the night at tour, so we woke her up. And she was always so good looking for someone who just woke up. This does not make any sense, why would she look like that and moreover, go out like that? It is not like her.

On the other hand, she herself was quite shocked. Out of nowhere, with no warning, I come breaking an entry. To her own house, her safe place. If I were her, I would have reacted the same.

Oh. I am just noticing she is holding something. It's a bottle wrapped in brown paper. Well, no need to be a genius to figure that out what bottle it is...
I see now.

I came closer, and I just saw that look in her eyes 'oh shit.' Which tells me this: she wants to be like that, in this. She is drowning herself in sorrow because she wants it.

"Answer me." I said. "What is going on?"
I asked again, looking deep in her eyes. But still no answer. I don't know if she is just shocked to see me here, or if she simply does not want to answer. Maybe both? I don't know. But I want answers, and I am gonna fish them out if I must.

I passed her, and walked to the upside down living room. I cleared a place on the sofa and sat there comfortably. Well, I made it look like that, I was not comortable at all to be there.

"I will sit here all day if I must." I said as she turned around slowly. She avoided my look, as she knew I am known to be very cold staring.
"Better out then in." I added just to make sure she is still with me.

"Leave." I thought I heard something faint and broken. It was her voice, so desperate.
"I most certainly will not. Tell me what is all this."
She turned around, not facing me any longer and walked away. She went to the kitchen as it seems and pulled a new glass from a cabin. Oh no no. Not happening.

I got up quickly, stood behind her and wrapped my hand around hers. I stopped her from pouring more alcohol to herself. I think she had enough by the smell of her.
She tried to resisit, but I fought her. She was not strong enough to overcome me, and not strong at all actually. I think she is not eating...

"Leave me alone..." her broken voice was heard "I am begging you." She turned her head a bit to the side, and I could see 2 tears roll down on her left cheek. Okay... I may have gone a little too far.

I pulled her gently away from the kitchen, slowly, to the sofa. I sat her down, and I came down on my knees right in front of her.
"And I am begging you on my knees" I spoke gently "Tell me why are you acting like this. I promise I won't do anything to you okay? I am worried about you because I care about you." I whipped her tears of her cheek. But still, she would not look at me.

"I cannot explain." She said at once.
"Why? Are you afraid?"
"Of myself."
"Huh?" I was so confused. It was like she tried to explain herself, but held herself back. I don't know exactly why...
"I..." she started and I was sure she will not continue her sentence. I wanted to say 'why?' but then she said "am going through a hard time."
"I see that." I tried to catch her gaze, didn't succeed. yet.
"You can tell me, I will help you."
"No one can help me in this, I am alone." Tears formed in her eyes, and were about to fall.
"That is not true, you never walk alone. I am with you, I got you and I will not rest until you are well."