Dear Ana

Again

Julia straightened her body and looked at the therapist. "Honest? You want the honest truth?"
She nodded and sat her pen down. "Everything is confidential. It's been you and I. Unless you give me permission to tell anyone."
Julia sighed and rested her head on her hand. "No, don't tell anyone." She said softly. She loses her eyes for a second. Looked at her. "No, I'm not alright. How could I be? My children are missing."
She tapped her fingers on the desk. "Julia you know they're not your children. You just watch them-"
"Watch them? Right. I bathe them, cook their meals, make sure they're ready for school, get their homework done with them, love them. I do this every single day of my life. Like hell they're not my children." She snapped.
"Fine. I see your point. Julia how much was your weight on your last weigh in?" She asked.
"110lbs." She lies easily through her teeth.
The therapist made a note. "That's three pounds lower than last time." She said looking at Julia.
"And? It's not like I'm in danger zone. I'll keep it up I swear." She said. "It's not like that matters anyhow."
Her therapist set the pen down again. "It does matter. That's what landed you here again. Remember? Tell me Julia, what weight do you have to weigh to be in danger zone?"
Julia almost laughed. "I've said this so many times. To be in danger zone I have to weigh 98lbs or somewhere around that."
"Mhm, and Julia you are aware that if you continue at this rate you'll be in danger zone very soon? You have ten pounds to loose and your extremely close to danger zone." She said, her voice informative.
6lbs. Julia thought. technically she was 106lbs, so she only had six more pounds to loose. Julia could care less actually. She's been in danger zone before and if she could survive then why would this time be any different?
    Julia at last walked out of the session. Her therapist seemed more upset than she usually was. Julia just shrugged it off. If she told her grandparents it's not like they'd do anything. They can't afford to loose their babysitter. She walked out of the building. It was pouring rain. That's Ohio for you. She walked down the sidewalk, her arms wrapped around her waist. She didn't get far.
     "Julia! You shouldn't be walking in the rain!" Her therapist voice echoed down the sidewalk to her.
     Julia stopped and turned around. "It's fine. I walk all the time. Don't you have other people to see?"
     She nodded. "I do but I didn't see anyone's car to pick you up. Do you have anyone coming to get you?" She asked.
    Julia shook her head. "No. They're all a little busy at the moment if you haven't noticed." She said.
    Her therapist crossed her arms. "I don't like your tone. You used to speak so kind to everyone. Come inside. I only have one more patient. Then I'll drive you home."
    "I'm fine. I walk-"
   "Everyday I know but I don't want you walking in the rain."
Julia crosses her arms but followed her into the building anyhow. She sat in the waiting room letting her dripping hair soak her shirt. She crossed her legs and closed her eyes. It was Monday and still no kids. Julia looked her watch. She might as well walk to school. It was almost 7. She stood to her feet and knocked on her therapists door. She opened it. "I'm going to walk to school. I have to be there soon anyway."
Her therapist stood up. "I'll drive you."
"Don't you have-"
"I'll we're a note and tell them I'll be back in a few minutes. The schools not that far away." She said. She pulled on a jacket and grabbed her umbrella.
Julia rolled her eyes and followed her outside. She held the umbrella over Julia's head and walked to her car. It was a slick black car and it looked expensive. Julia sat down in the front seat and her therapist got in. She started the car and they drove to the school in silence. Julia got out of the car and thanked her. She walked into the school and sighed. Back at the same routine again.