Dear Ana

Change

Life is pretty funny the way it throws things at you. Julia looked at the scale. 104.3. Too high.
     In reality, if she saw things that way they were she would know that she was underweight. She was nearing danger zone but none of that matters. She couldn't see straight. It was still too high.
    Julia looked down. She ate a few minutes ago. She waited for her medication she took to kick in.
   She felt it as soon as it did. It was a punch in the stomach. She doubled over and heaved her meal out of her body. She had become pretty good at purging lately. She used to say she never purged but that didn't seem to be the case anymore. This was a daily occurrence now. Julia threw up until everything was out of her system. She straightened and leaned on the wall. Her body protested.
     She looked in the mirror. Fat. That's all she was. Fat.
Julia walked out of the bathroom and grabbed her book bag. She ran outside and waited for the bus. Her sisters had rides. The younger ones were at their mothers so it only left her.
She was usually left alone. Her family left her a lot. Whether is was to go out to eat with everyone else or to go see or a movie or something like they.
She got on the bus and went through the school day. She took her state tests and found herself in her last period. Her substitute teacher was a girl who went to school at her school not too long again. Julia knew her. She used to preform with this girl. The girl looked at her. Worry in her eyes. Julia took no notice. No one actually worried about her. No one but Aliya. She kept Julia afloat.
     Julia looked at her desk. She felt weak. Beside the breakfast the threw up she hadn't eaten anything for the past three days. She lifted her gaze and the class was dismissed ten minutes early. She looked at her book bag. What could she do for ten minutes? It took about that long to walk to her bus where the bus parked to bring her home. Her school was on a campus. On the other side of the campus was the seventh and eighth grade building where her bus parked. She grabbed her bag and started walking.
     Her legs were shaky but nothing she couldn't handle.
    "Julia? Wait." The substitute teacher said and followed her out of the building. "What's happened?"
      Julia looked forward. "What do you mean?"
     "Don't act like you don't know. You're thin. You've lost weight." She said.
    Julia shrugged. "Everyone looses weight."
   She shook her head. "Not this much. You're underweight."
    Julia gripped her bag-straps tightly. "I don't look underweight."
     "Yes you do. I can tell. It may have been a while since I've seen you but you've definitely lost a lot of weight. When's the last time you've eaten?"
"That's none of your business." Julia snapped and walked down the sidewalk.
"Seriously Julia? Do you ever stop to think for once that someone may actually care what happens to you?" She asked.
Julia stopped. "No. I don't think that. With a family like mine that thought doesn't cross my mind. Now if you'll excuse me. I am going to miss my bus." She snapped and turned and walked away from the teacher. She walked to her bus and got on in the back. She closed her eyes and leaned her head on the window. She'd be very lucky if this certain teacher didn't tell the guidance councilor about this little incident.
Julia got off the bus and sighed. She looked at the house and walked in. No one ran to greet her. She set her bag down and began her chores. Like any normal day in her life.
Nothing changed. She stayed fat. The chores never changed. Her life never changed.