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chaapter 13 diary series 2

CHAPTER 13 THE FLASH BACK DIARY SERIES-2

Dear Diary,                                                                                                                           15/3/1987

After the post wedding blues and tiredness we all have finally settled down. Mamaji, Mamiji and Maitri will be staying at our house for about a month. I don’t know what is wrong with Mamiji that she has become so pushy about Maitri’s marriage. She is acting very weird as if bachelors are extinct in this world. Worst is she has fixed an eye on the Rao’s proposal. But I wonder why isn’t my mom hurrying about my marriage?? After all she was the first person  to send proposal to the Rao’s family. Perhaps she thinks that they are not going to be interested in me.........after seeing Maitri. Well! I must admit that Maitri is more beautiful and nicely groomed than I am, but that doesn’t count..... Or  DOES IT???????

Dear Diary,                                                                                                                       16/3/1987

I am shattered, completely. Yes yes ! The results are out and I lost even after winning the battle. Yes I am calling it as battle since it was made no less than a battle by my Mamaji and Mamiji. Today was a day filled with lots of melodrama. Mamiji outsmarted the crocodiles in faking  tears. Disgusting!!! The Rao’s replied back to us in the morning that both mine and Maitri’s horoscopes have matched. As soon as Mamaji and Mamiji heard this they started playing their cards. Mamiji shed a lot of her fake tears  and said to my parents  that, Maitri’s affair has made her infamous and she is being tagged as girl with loose character. But, they also know the truth that  we all know ,she just fell in love with this guy and she wanted to marry him, when he rejected she buried her feelings for him and moved on. Maitri was standing so helpless in front of us when her own parents were blaming. She just kept asking sorry to all of us and she also said Mamaji and Mamiji that she will marry any guy of their choice. But Mamaji and Mamiji were merciless, instead of appreciating their daughter’s courage, they were just using the situation to convince my parents to give up the alliance. And I found that my parents were getting under their spell. They can’t see beyond what is being shown to them.

As Yamani(Mrs Rao) is writing her diary her mom knocks at door and discusses for a while with her. After she leaves her room .Yamani(Mrs Rao) gets back to write down her feelings in her diary

Dear Diary,

Finally!!!! My mom has realised! She just came to me to ask what my opinion was. She said that she had noticed me trying to impress Mr Rao’s mother. She also said that she will be happy if this match takes off well. But at the same time told me to be prepared for the worst. But she assured me that she will not give up this alliance only because Mamaji and Mamiji are asking them to, though she sympathizes with them. Wishing me all the best in my life she went off. And you know tomorrow, Rao family will visit our housefor the formal bride-hunt.

YEEEEE!!!I am excited! Oh! God I want to look my best!!! Wish me luck.

Dear Diary,                                                                                                                 17/3/1987

Why this happens to me always?? Why am I so unlucky??? Today I was so excited. I did every bit of preparations required to impress my future in-laws. Maitri helped me look my best. She also decked me up nicely . I was looking nowhere less to an actual bride. As we all welcomed the Raos into the house all our palpitations increased.As I took the tray with tea and snacks and offered them,  Rao’s mother didn’t give me a complacent smile and Mr Subbraju’s eyes were eagerly searching for someone else. As we all seated comfortably, Rao’s mother broke out the hell.

         She said, “Though both the girls are good and their horoscopes also matched with Subbu’s, we had to settle with one girl. And we left the choice to our son.  And....................(after a pause).........Subbu likes Maitri and wishes to marry her.”

Soon my dreams were shattered, I felt the pain of thousand thorns pricking my heart. This was most embarrassing and insulting moment. I looked like a fool decked up in foolish attire. I was sitting in the place that belonged to  someone else. As I looked puzzled and hurt at Mr Subbaraju he was still busy searching for Maitri. He looked unaffected by his declaration. Of course why wouldn’t he be? He never knew about my feelings for him. And how stupid of me, all this while I was trying to impress his parents when finally he is the one to take the decision.

                  And yes!! The world is carried away by glitters and not gold. I didn’t know how to react to the situation, but soon others tried to normalise it. As I stood lost in between all of them my mother took me to my room and hugged me and said, “ Dear, whatever happens, it is for our best. He was surely not meant to be your life partner, if he was then whatever be the thing the destiny would have gotten us together. Someone will be surely be made for you. Just a right moment is required.”

Saying so she locked the door from outside and asked me to undress and get in casual attire. How could she be so blunt???  

I sat hopeless, shattered, devastated on my bed. I was back stabbed by my own people.

 I peeped through the pinhole of the door, and was amazed at the sight. I saw Mamiji happily presenting her beautifully decked and dressed daughter to the Rao’s. All looked happy. They exchanged sweets and shagun(auspicious gift). They were all laughing and giggling.

Suddenly Mr Subbu interrupted them and said he wanted to talk to Maitri in private. Initially they objected but later they were convinced that they need to sort out certain things. Mamiji called me out intentionally. She gave me victorious look!! At that moment i felt like throttling her, but controlled myself.

          Even though she knew that I would be hurt with all this she did her best to screw up my day further. She asked me to accompany Maitri and Mr Subbu, who were heading to our terrace to talk in private. As I stood in one corner and watched them discuss and giggle in far other corner.............I felt the most excruciating pain ever.  I couldn’t believe my eyes ..... Maitri was also very happy with all the proceedings and in spite of knowing the truth that I liked him from day one  she agreed to get married to him.

                                        My faith, trust enthusiacism in marriage all vanished  as ash and smoke. I hated everything about marriage. And Thanks to Mr Rao for invoking in  me repulsion l  about the marriage. I was out to reality from the marriage mania.

                            As we all went down, the so called elders were discussing the engagement and marriage dates. Everything started happening so fast that I was not given a single moment  to at least shed few tears in silence.

             Their engagement is tomorrow, drama queen, Mamiji came to me and said that she understands my feelings, but still she wants me to take it well and be happy for Maitri. Her last punching line has made a deepest wound in my heart and on my mind.

 “You are every mother’s dream. Everyman’s choice.  Person marrying you will be luckiest”.

 So this time even I mustered the courage and said, “ Yes, it’s now crystal clear,:  who is Everyman's  lest Mr Rao’s choice and who is every mother’s dream. Hope Maitri gets really lucky.”

Tomorrow I will have to help Maitri get dressed up for the function and swallow down all  my pain seeing her getting married to the guy I wished to marry some day.

I HATE THIS FAKE WORLD AND IT’S  FAKE RULES.