Ding

.01

It's been months since I last spoke those words to him. I still remember the look on his face when those two words left my mouth. The look of hurt and rejection continued to haunt me all these months. At that time I was content. I was happy where I was in my life. I wasn't looking for a relationship yet I don't understand why a decision I made for myself has me second guessing if I made the right decision.

"Ugh" I spoke out loud letting out my frustration.

"Um, it looks like our maknae has something to say" I heard someone say as I looked up and was greeted by the eyes of my unnies whom all had mixtures of confusion and curiosity. Shit, I forgot we are in middle of an interview for our comeback song. "Um, yeah. I just wanted to say that I am super excited for this comeback. It's been awhile since we greeted our Onces and I am looking forward to seeing them again" I said.

"Of course. You all must be excited to be able to have your comeback stage tonight at the MBC x Genie Plus Award show. There are going to be many big name celebrities there tonight especially our very own World Stars BTS whom will be doing a collaboration stage with another World Star Charlie Puth. How do you feel about that?" The reporter's question took me by surprised. I didn't expect him to ask me a question about his group. I felt myself starting to panic at the mention of his group. "I...um...I" I stumbled over my words unsure of what to say. I looked at my unnies for support. "What Tzuyu is trying to say is that we are excited to see such a historic event." Mina unnie spoke up. "It's such a great pleasure to see two global celebrities perform together tonight." Jihyo unnie jumped in to support Mina's answer. "And we are even more excited to be able to have our comeback stage on the same stage as them." Nayeon unnie spoke next. The rest of my unnies all shook their heads in agreement. I made a mental note to thank them all later.

"Of course. Well I want to thank you all for your time. I know you ladies are busy and need to get ready for tonight but thank you for taking the time to be interviewed. Good luck. I would be cheering. Fighting"

After that our interview ended and the reporter left. I was still shaken by the last question that I didn't hear my chingu when she was talking to me. "Tzuyu. Earth to Tzuyu."

"Oh, Chae. Yeah?" I looked at her.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine" I said giving her a smile to reassure her.

"I don't know Tzuyu. I'm worried for you."

"We all are." Said Jeongyeon. I looked up and saw my unnies all looking at me. "If you are not feeling well. We'll talk to our managers to see about maybe you missing out tonight"

"No that's ok. I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. Please believe me" I said again hoping they'll accept my answer and drop the whole conversation.

"Ok. Well you all heard her. She's fine and we gotta get going. We need to be at the venue to get ready for tonight." Jihyo unnie our leader spoke up and started signaling us to exit.

I ran to grab my stuff to leave but bumped into Mina unnie whom was standing waiting for me. "Are you sure you're ok?" She asked. "Yeah. I'm fine" I answered. "It's been months since you last spoke or seen him, right?" I didn't reply to her but kept quiet. I really didn't want to deal with my emotions surrounding him at this very moment but if anyone knew what I was going through it would be Mina unnie as she is kinda on the same boat.

She used to be in a relationship with one of the BTS guys but she ended it with him when they started blowing up and becoming super famous. She didn't want to hold him back from his dream and she was feeling insecure with everything. So she broke up with him right before their Love Yourself World Tour. It was one of the hardest things she said she had to do. She cried many nights over her decision. Even though it's been months and she says she's ok now, we can all see that she's still hurting. Sana unnie even mentioned one night when she woke up because she heard noises coming from Mina's bed. She listened and it was Mina crying and whispering how much she misses him. There was even moments when Chaeyoung and I caught Mina looking at a picture of him on tour so even though she likes to act that she is fine, we all know better.

"Yeah, I'll be fine unnie." I answered while giving her a smile. "What about you? It's going to be the first time you'll see him as well since what happened." I didn't want to ask but I felt impulse to ask as well just to see how she is going to handle tonight.

"Honestly?" She asked. I looked at her and shook my head. "I'm scared. I haven't told anyone but I still love him and I want to be with him more than ever but I hurt him so much that I don't think I have the right to love him anymore." I was surprised that she was telling me all of this. Before I can respond, Jihyo unnie came back to grab us as everyone was in the car already but waiting on us.

We arrived at the venue and was greeted to their latest hit song playing throughout the whole place. They are here already. I thought. They must be rehearsing. I heard his voice and I felt my heart skip a beat. I started to panic but remembered Mina unnie who must be in a worse state since she is still in love with her guy. I looked for her and saw Momo and Sana unnie holding both of her hands to comfort her. I felt someone else grab my hand and looked to see Nayeon unnie next to me. "It's ok, maknae. You'll get through tonight just fine." She gave me a reassuring smile and I smiled back.

We walked to our dressing room and just my luck, our dressing room was right next to theirs. Great. We were bound to run into each other. I thought, thankfully they were still rehearsing or our reunion would've been quicker than I hoped for. We got into our dressing room and I collapsed on the chair inside next to Mina. "You two can breathe now" Dahyun unnie said. I didn't realize I was holding my breath the whole time. "They are rehearsing so they won't see you two just yet"

"But why are we right next to them?" Chaeyoung asked to no one in particular.

"I'll go talk to manager unnie to see if she can rearrange for us to be located somewhere else" Jihyo said. "It's ok." I turned to Mina unnie who finally said something since we got here.

"Are you sure, Minaring?" asked Momo. "Yeah. I don't want to run away from him forever. It'll be fine. We're both adults. Both professionals. We'll be fine, right Tzuyu?" asked Mina while looking at me.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Let's not cause too much trouble for the staff"

Mina and I stayed in our dressing room the whole time waiting until it was our turn to walk the carpet. It was finally our time and I was hoping that I didn't run into him. Luckily, we didn't. We almost did though cause when we started walking, I saw their leader Namjoon walking from a distant and that's how I knew they were coming but thankfully, they called us to walk the carpet first.

We entered the venue and sat in our seats. They had us sit upfront. We were all seated and I realized that next to us were still empty chairs. Don't tell me that's where they are sitting at. Just as the thought came into my head, they came walking up the steps to their seats. I saw him from the corner of my eye and I bowed to avoid seeing him. I saw his shadow walk right past me and go straight to his seat where his members were all sitting at.

Throughout the whole night, I had fun and tried to avoid him as much as I can. There were moments when we caught each other staring, especially when we were being polite to another group for winning. We couldn't help but see each other since we were right across from each other. I saw him laughing one time and I couldn't help but laugh as well. It was great to see that smile on his face. He always had such a great smile. The rest of the night, it seemed as if he was avoiding me. He's group gave an amazing performance. He looked incredible as always on stage. That was the thing, whenever he performed my attention would always gravitate to him. At the end of the award show when all of the artists walk on stage to greet the fans. Our groups happened to be right next to each other.

We caught each other's eyes again and he quickly turned away and started walking the opposite direction of me. It was clear that he was definitely avoiding me. I couldn't help but feel hurt by his actions. The last thing I wanted to do was have you avoid me. As we exited the stage, I knew there would be a chance that we will run into each other since our dressing rooms were next to each other. I decided to take a detour to the bathroom. I signaled to Jeongyeon unnie that I was going to the restroom and she understood, just in case someone came looking for me. They will know where I went.

I walked into the bathroom and looked at my reflection staring back at me. What are you doing Tzuyu? You did this to yourself. Stop giving yourself a pity party and just deal with it. I thought to myself. "Your right. You can do this." I said out loud. Luckily no one was in the bathroom or they would've thought I was crazy talking to myself. I walked out of the bathroom and was making my way to my unnies when I heard his voice. "Hey."