Ding

.08

I was dreading today. After what happened a couple of days ago with Elkie, I was not looking forward to this day anymore. We were at the venue in Japan for MAMAs, if anything I was hoping for this day to be over already as this will be the last time I see him before the music festivals begin. We weren’t scheduled to attend MAMA’s in Hong Kong, which I was thankful for. I don’t think I can deal with seeing him so quickly after today. I need more time to get over him. 

We just finished walking the red carpet and we were all back in our dressing room getting our finishing touches done before the show began. My unnies Nayeon, Momo, Sana and Mina were busy getting ready for the opening. They were going to do Miss A sunbaenim’s Good Girl, Bad Girl song. I was originally part of the line-up for it but last minute they switched me out and put Mina unnie. Park PD-nim wanted the J-line to take part in the special stage since we are in Japan. I didn’t mind. I wished my unnies good luck and followed the rest of my members to our sitting area inside the venue. 

I walked up the steps to the artists area and greeted the seniors that were not taking part of the opening as I looked up after greeting some of Mamamoo members I saw him and his group sitting. I gulped as I saw him. I couldn’t help but start to feel nervous. He looked so handsome in his navy suit. I was secretly hoping he did not look up to notice me but luck was not on my side because at that moment, he looked up and we locked eyes. I felt my heart skip a beat and the butterflies in my stomach were flying like crazy. He gave me a smile and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. 

I felt a nudge at my side and looked back to see Jihyo unnie “be careful, tzu” she whispered. I quickly dropped my eyes and avoided his gaze. I couldn’t believe I slipped up and smiled at him at a public event with many fans around. I kept my head down as we made our way to our chairs and again, lady luck did not like me as we sat right behind them.

One benefit of this sitting arrangement was that I get to look at him but he can’t look at me. If I can’t have you at least, I’ll continue to stare at you from a safe distance. 

The award show started and all the opening acts went off with a bang. My unnies did an amazing job. Momo and Mina unnie were the best in their dance part for the last opening song. I was amazed at how great they both were with dancing. Throughout the whole night, I felt his presence. I felt that there were moments during the award show that he’ll try to look at me but I reminded myself not to look at him. I avoided him as much as possible, soon it was time for our performance.

We were on standby getting ready to go on stage, when I had to run back to our dressing room because I forgot something. As I was walking back towards my members, I saw him turn a corner walking towards his dressing room. I didn’t know what to do, I had no time to run back to my dressing room as my group was waiting for me plus he would’ve noticed me. I panicked and did the only thing I can think of and hid behind the vending machine, hoping he didn’t see me. 
When I heard his footsteps disappear, I jumped out and ran as fast as I can to my group before he decides to come out of his room. That was the closest I got to almost interacting with him. The rest of the night I successfully ignored him. His group gave an amazing performance. They turned the award show into their own personal concert when the whole audience started singing along. It felt like we were surrounded by ARMY and ARMY only. They won the daesang as they should. 

The ending part of the show, our groups were close to each other throughout the whole time. There were moments on stage when we almost bumped into eachother but it seemed that he may have caught on that I was avoiding him as he started to do the same. There was one particular moment when I wasn’t paying attention and I found myself right behind him. We caught each other’s eye and quickly turned away and quicken his pace away from me. I couldn’t help but feel a little hurt but I had no one else to blame but myself. He was just doing what I did to him the whole night.