Ding

.10

It's been a week since my break down and fight with my unnies. I fought with them over something so trivial, I hated myself the moment everything happened. When I woke up, we all had a group talk. I apologized for everything that I did and say. I was scolded for disrespecting my unnies but they apologized themselves for putting too much pressure on me to confess. They realized they were wrong as well for pushing me to do something that was out of my character. I apologized because that still does not excuse the way I acted and spoke to them. I was thankful for them for pushing me to become more open but I don't think I was ready for it. Our talk became a cry fest after as everyone started apologizing to each other for anything that we've done that may have hurt the other since that talk none of my unnies have spoken to me about Jungkook. They will go as far as turning the channel whenever the sunbaenims were mentioned or shown on tv. They did it not just for my sake but for Mina unnie as she's been depressed lately.

Even though my unnies stopped talking to me about him, I couldn't help but miss it. Deep down, if I am being honest with myself. I missed everything about him still. I miss the way they tease me about him because it'll allow me to think about him. I miss sitting and watching him on tv. I miss looking forward to seeing him. I just miss him. I don't have a right though because everything that has happened was a product of my stupidity. I was the idiot that rejected him. I was the idiot that wouldn't go and talk to him when I realized how I felt. I was the idiot that decided to hurt him a second time. Everything was my fault and that is something that I am going to have to live with.

We must not be destined for each other because we tend to have overlapping schedules but we never really got to interact since Hong Kong. We were in Japan for Music Station Super Live, when we came back from Japan they flew to Japan. I pre-recording for SBS Gayo Daejun tomorrow morning while his group is tomorrow night. This must be my punishment for hurting him, I thought. Speaking about SBS Gayo Daejun, that would be the next time I see him which doesn't matter since I'm pretty sure he will not want to see me. I don't blame him at all though, if I was him I wouldn't want to see the girl that hurt me twice.

We were back in our dance studio running through our performances for SBS Gayo Daejun. We just finished performing at KBS Entertainment Awards and came straight JYPE to run through our special stages and making sure everything was set for Gayo. After our 3rd run through, we called it quits. Mina unnie couldn't do another run through as she's been in pain lately. Our manager was worried and wanted to take her to the hospital to get checked out but she refused. She kept saying it was her knee again but we all knew it was more than just her knee.

As we entered our dorm, I was getting ready to go to bed when I overheard whispering "she's going to see him at gayo" it was Jeongyeon unnie's voice. "They are both going to see them" answered Nayeon unnie. "What do we do?" Jeongyeon asked. "Nothing. There's nothing we can do."

"What about Mina? What if she sees him with her?"

"They are just friends."

"Did Namjoon sunbae tell you that?"

"Yes. He told me that nothing is going on between them. She's interested and confessed but he hasn't given her a reply."

"Does he plan to give her reply at gayo?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask about that."

"What about Jungkook? Did you ask Namjoon about him?"

"You know eavesdropping isn't a good thing." I jumped as I was startled by the voice behind me. I turned it was Jihyo unnie behind me. "Didn't you learn your lesson from the last time you listened in on a private conversation?" I put my head down as I knew what she imapplying. I walked away from the conversation that was going on and went into my room. Jihyo unnie followed me in my room as I was preparing my bed for sleep. Chaeyoung has not returned from her shower yet.