Out of My Heart and My Mind

Shutdown

The two ate their food in silence, not that they cared too much. T.J's mind was abuzz with thoughts, most pretaining to what he'd do in Xavier's world. Alternatively, the raccoon couldn't stop looking at him as he slowly took chunks out of his food. His eyes were downcast, barely shifting at all away from his plate. It only made Xavier's curiosity more aparent, along with the need to find out what happened to make the boy appear so suddenly last night. Soon enough, they were both done, but they didn't make any moves even when Jason came and gave them the bill. He could sense the tension, evident by the worried look crossing his features as he walked away to tend to another customer.

"T.J...", Xavier started with a sigh, "You can't hide it forever. I'll have to find out sometime, so it's better to just get it over with."

The boy didn't respond, only clenching a trembling fist and taking a shaking breath. He hoped to avoid the question as long as possible, but the raccoon is persistent and stubborn— much like himself. He did have a point, though: the truth of his sudden arrival will have to come out. He rubbed his head as he felt the beginnings of a migraine. Well, they always say it's better to rip the bandaid off quickly rather than taking it slow.

"I...", he said quietly, "I snapped."

Xavier leaned forward, ears twitching intently, "Go on."

The boy sighed, "I lost myself. Some things happened involving my family and it kept going for awhile and...I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to clear my head, but then I saw that light in the water and, well, you can guess what happened after that."

A simple nod came in response, but he didn't register it.

"I try so hard to keep it to myself, never letting it out because I knew only bad things would happen.", his voice slowly raised, "But no, of course not, it kept building and building until I couldn't take it anymore. Now I'm not even sure if I want to go back because if I do, it'll just go right back to that pattern and if I lose it again, I'll—"

He caught himself, heart running a marathon in his chest. He looked at Xavier, seeing his ears flattened and a worried expression on his snout. The boy looked around, luckily no one seemed to catch wind of his pseudo-tirade. He sighed heavily and slumped onto the table, resting his head on his arms.

"And just like that, my mood dips even further.", he groaned before something touched his hand.

He instinctively moved back, but found it being gripped tightly. He raised his head, seeing a furred hand gripping his own. There was no glow, unlike the other night. His gaze shifted to Xavier, who had a sympathetic look on his features. T.J pulled his hand again, still finding it stuck in a vice grip. He knew what the look meant, and he hated it. It's not like he had a choice, though. As much as he hated that look, he knew he wasn't in the right position to say anything about it.

"You could always stay with me. At least, until you feel like you can go back.", the raccoon offered gently.

T.J looked away for a second, not sure how to respond. If he were being honest, part of him wanted to stay with Xavier. He's probably the only person he could safely confide in. His mind wandered to that moment they shared when they met, when he completely broke down and spilled his guts.

Xavier was there for him, and now he wants to be there again.

"Two weeks. Nothing more, and nothing less. I'd rather not be here longer than I have to..."

Xavier squeezed the boy's hand and smiled widely, "Great! First thing: We're gonna go shopping."

"Why?"

"Well, you didn't bring any other clothes, did you?"

"No, but...I don't go out much, anyway."

"Still, you can't sit go around wearing the same thing everyday! Look, we'll just get you a few things while you're here and that's it. Alright?"

T.J sighed, "Fine. Just don't go overboard."