Not Falling Apart

Chapter 23

Adam’s POV

Adam was tired of coming home and sitting alone, so he decided to go out. Get his mind off of the depressing things he had been thinking about. He headed to his favorite downtown bar.

The atmosphere inside was enough to lift his spirits, even just a little. Loud music played and the scent of smoke and alcohol drifted in the air. The place was packed, equal amounts male and female. He took a seat on a bar stool and ordered a tequila. His stomach felt rotten, but he downed the drink anyway. Hopefully he wouldn’t regret it later.

He ordered another and sipped this one slowly, carefully watching people move about. A young, pretty brunette pushed her way past a group of burly men and sat down on a chair next to Adam. She ordered something, then turned and a look of shock came across her face when she noticed Adam.

“Oh my God, you’re Adam Levine, from The Voice, right?” she asked excitedly?

 “That’s me.”

“Wow, I’ve always wanted to meet you! I love you on that show! And you’re, well, you know, easy on the eyes,” she said with a glittery smile.

“Ha, thanks,” Adam said, meaning it.

“I’m Sadie, by the way.” She extended her hand.

“Adam,” he said and returned the gesture. They both laughed.

“So, you come here often?” she asked.

“Yeah, sometimes, when I need a break.”

“So what did you need a break from tonight?”

“Just some relationship…troubles.”

“You? Relationship troubles? Please. You could get any girl you wanted. I mean that in a good way.”

Fuck. What she didn’t know.

He was distracted now. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, thanks. But it’s complicated.”

“Well, if you are ever on the market, give me a call.” She scribbled her number on a piece of paper and handed it to him.

“Thanks.”

“Well, I’ll catch you later. Nice meeting you.”

“You too.”

She got up and walked off.

Blake’s POV

It had been over a week since he and Adam called it off. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel much better about himself or the situation. He kept thinking he should call Adam and they could make some plans together; after all, they could still hang out once in a while. But Adam seemed to be keeping his distance. Maybe their breakup had taken a harsh toll on him; Blake hated it if he hurt him that badly. Or maybe he just didn’t care about Blake anymore. Unlikely, but Blake was at the point where he didn’t really know what to think.

He sucked it up and selected Adam’s number from his contacts.

Adam’s POV

“Hello?” Adam said.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hold on, I can’t really hear you.” Adam left the bar and walked to the quietness of the parking lot.

“Where are you?” Blake asked.

“A bar.”

“Drinking your problems away?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Now you’re sounding like me. Don’t know why I’m not there with ya.”

“I’m about to leave anyway.”

“Look, Ad, I know this is hard on both of us. Way harder than either of us expected. But do you wanna hang out this weekend? Ya know, like old times? As friends?”

Friends hurt badly. Adam wanted to scream. He did what he seemed to be best at doing lately—avoiding Blake.

“I don’t know, I’ve got other stuff to catch up on.”

Before Blake responded, Sadie waved and called out to Adam as she headed out of the bar. “See you later!”

Adam waved back.

“Who was that?” Blake asked.

“Just someone I met at the bar.”

“A girl?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Well, you probably already have plans for this weekend, I don’t want to…”

“No Blake, it’s not like that. We just talked a bit. That’s all.”

“Oh no it’s okay. You’re so attractive, I don’t know how I could expect no one to be interested in you.” Blake didn’t sound angry, but instead sad. “Well, talk to you later buddy.”

“Alright. Later.”

Adam sighed. Love was way too complicated.

Blake’s POV

What Blake had been dreading for so long was now upon him.

He and Miranda were lying in bed, side by side, staring up at the celling. She broke the silence.

“You and Adam. What exactly, um, was going on between you guys?” Her tone was soft and patient; she was clearly wanting to hear his side and talk without fighting.

He didn’t want to tell her. At all. That was the point of all of this. Not let anyone else know the truth.

“Nothing for you to worry about, I promise. We just got closer while he was sick. We just got to see a different side of each other.”

“What about the kiss?” She asked softly.

“That was nothing. A bet. Stupid stuff, ya know.” This was supposed to be the part where he no longer lied to her, yet found himself lying to her maybe even more so than before.

She snuggled into him. “You still love me, right?”

“Of course I still love you babe. I never stopped loving you.” He kissed the top of her head. A few weeks ago he was doing the same to Adam.

Adam’s POV

Adam arrived home to a lonely, empty house that matched his empty heart. He hated disappointing Blake, but what else could he do? Being with him on a friends-only basis would make him want him even more. And then who knows? Maybe neither would be able to stand it, and they would fall back in to each other’s arms, only to start up the same painful rollercoaster they had before. He couldn’t let that happen. Eventually they would hang out again, but now it was too soon.  

He was starting to feel the effect of the two drinks he downed. He closed his eyes and supported himself on the back of a chair as the spinning in his head took over. If only Blake where here…

No, no more being needy for Blake. He was a grown man, an independent man. He could take care of himself. He could live a happy life without Blake by his side. To celebrate his newfound manliness he went to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

***

He awoke the next morning with a fuzzy, throbbing head. The covers were pulled up to his eyes and as he slowly opened them they revealed a blurry view of his room. He blinked a few times then sat up. A wave of nausea hit as he recollected the events of last night; namely, getting drunk. He got out of bed and walked around a bit. After-effects of stomach surgery plus three drinks didn’t produce pretty results. And he still felt the hurt over Blake. Alcohol apparently did NOT solve your problems.

He walked into the bathroom, hung his head over the toilet and threw up, then crawled back to bed.