Not Falling Apart

Chapter 24

Shakira’s POV

Shakira arrived extra early to work, to ensure that she could catch Adam and talk to him privately before anyone else got there.

It was clear something was bothering him. Just last week, he was bubbling over with happiness, and now he seemed distant, maybe a little depressed. She wanted answers to both her questions—what was going on between him and Blake, and what was going on now.

She truly cared for everyone around her. Adam was no different. When she found out how sick he was, she wanted to do anything she could to offer words of comfort. She prayed for a speedy and successful recovery. After he returned to the show, he seemed so happy, so alive; but she also sensed he was hiding something, something having to do with Blake. She noticed the way they looked at each other like they never had before. How they spent more time together. Maybe it was none of her business at the time, she was just curious, but now, something was wrong, possibly something she could help with. But she would have to get Adam to confide in her before she could help him. She hoped he would.

Adam’s POV

Like every other day, thoughts of Blake hit Adam first thing in the morning. It still hurt, but he was trying to get past it. He couldn’t live in sorrow forever.

He arrived to work before any of the other coaches. He was going over some things in his dressing room when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

“Geez, Shakira, you scared me. I didn’t know anyone else was here.”

She smiled. “I’m sneaky.”

“Do you need me for something?”

“No, I just wanted to see how you were.”

“Pretty good, just a little stressed, but aren’t we all?” He laughed softly.

“Are you sure there’s nothing you want to talk to me about?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

She sighed. “Adam, look. I’ve noticed things between you and Blake. The way you two look at each other, act around each other, is different than what it used to be. But now, you seem upset. I know I’ve seemed extra curious and perhaps pushy, and I think you’ve noticed, but just didn’t want to say anything—about me or about what was going on between you and Blake.”

Well, this was the moment his and Blake’s relationship was gone for good. Holy crap. All of that was way too true. So she had noticed for sure. And she knew that he noticed.

“Uhhh…” he was at a loss for words.

She took his hand in hers. “Adam, it’s okay. You can tell me. Whatever it is, you don’t have to hide it anymore.”

What should he do? Tell her? Everything? He was tired of lying, and didn’t want to dig himself or Blake in any deeper.

“I don’t know…” he mumbled. She waited patiently.

After a few moments pause, he said, “Ok, you’re right. Everything you’ve ever suspected is real. The truth is…” he sighed. “It’s a long story, but when I was in the hospital, Blake and I began noticing feelings for each other. After I was released, we decided we wanted to be together. In a real relationship. So we were, and everything was great, until last week, when Blake called me and said we couldn’t be together anymore because it was getting too hard to hide it. I agreed to it. So here we are.”

He couldn’t believe he had told her all of that. He felt his cheeks grow hot. It felt so strange letting all go.

She took it all in, nodding her head. “I know this must have been hard for you to tell me, but I’m glad you did.”

She didn’t question why he had feelings for another man or make fun of him or anything he would have expected her, or anyone, to do. He felt instantly relieved.

She continued. “I can see that you have feelings for Blake. The way your eyes light up whenever you see him. Why would you want to hide that?”

“I guess it was just easier than telling everyone the truth.”

“Let me ask you a question. Adam, do you love Blake?”

“Yes,” he responded quietly.

“So are you happy this way? Being apart? Hiding your love from the world?”

“No. I want him more than anything,” he confessed.

“Then don’t let anything, or anyone, stop you. Do what makes you happy. And this,” she motioned to him, with his solemn expression, “is not it. You are a wonderful person. You deserve to be happy. I think you two were made for each other.”

“What are you saying? That I should try to get back with Blake?”

“You do whatever you feel you should do. But remember this—we accept the love we think we deserve.”

***

All through the show Adam couldn’t concentrate on anything but what Shakira had said to him. Was she right? Did he need to get Blake back? He wanted to so badly, but everything was just so…damn complicated. He wished he knew the answer.

The coaches were told to banter with each other, and he could tell Blake was trying to get Adam to play along with him. Adam didn’t know if it was because they were “supposed” to, or if Blake was really trying to go somewhere with it, but Adam just wanted to get lost inside his own head. He was sure he made for a pretty boring show.

By the end of the night, Adam had a better grip on the situation, but was still unsure of what to do. Once again Shakira’s words rang is his head.