Not Falling Apart

Chapter 25

Adam’s POV

Adam had made up his mind. He had waited around the set before leaving to get his thoughts collected, then he texted Blake, desperation hoping he would answer back quickly.

Is Miranda home?

Not more than a minute later—

No.

Perfect, that was lucky.

I’m coming over.

***

Adam drove like a maniac to Blake’s house. Maybe he was crazy, insane really. But he knew what he had to do. He knew what he wanted more than anything else in the entire world. And he was sure Blake wanted it too.

He arrived in record time and parked out front. Nerves were beginning to build, but he forced himself to get out of the car and walk up to the door. He knocked a few times.

Maybe he shouldn’t be doing this. They called it off for a reason. He considered himself a confident person but this was getting to be too much. Tension built as he waited on Blake’s doorstep. He should just turn around right now and run away. He tried to fight back his insecurities and focus on what he came to do when the door opened and Blake’s towering figure appeared in the doorway.

“Adam, come in.”

Blake stepped aside and Adam walked inside. Blake shut the door behind him.

“So, what’s…” Blake began.

“No, Blake, let me talk.”

Blake looked a bit confused but snapped his mouth shut.

Adam was scared as hell right now, that little voice in the back of his mind telling him this was a stupid idea. But he fought to stay strong. He could do this.

“Blake, I-I can’t do this anymore. I can’t go around pretending that I don’t want to be with you. I go home every day wishing you were there with me. I need you Blake.”

Adam only half-realized what he was doing as he stepped toward Blake, wrapped his arms around him, and kissed him.

He pulled away and took a couple steps back, breathing deeply, waiting to see what Blake was going to do. Kissing Blake brought on a strength that he couldn’t get from anyone or anything else. He knew exactly, without a doubt in his mind, what he wanted.  

“I need you too Adam,” Blake said in a soft tone.

“Then what are we waiting for? We can’t let other people try to define who we are. We both deserve better.”  

He thought Blake was going to give in, say there’s nothing in the world that could keep them apart. Instead he took his gaze off Adam and paced around the room.

Adam was scared. Would he lose Blake again? He really didn’t think he could go on living this way.

Finally, Adam said, “We both know that kiss meant something.”

Blake turned back around to look at Adam.

Adam threw his hands up. “Hell, every kiss meant something. Don’t you see it? What we have? We may not understand, maybe we never will, but we have to act on it. I feel this Blake.”

He was sure Blake was thinking about his wife, his career…everything. He probably thought Adam was crazy to want this a second time. Adam couldn’t tell him to forget his wife, or ditch his career, but that’s pretty much what would happen if they went through with this. It was asking a lot from him. From Adam too. But Adam had never felt so connected to a human being before. There was absolutely no way he could leave Blake’s house with another broken heart.  

Blake’s POV

Adam Levine was standing in his living room asking him to be his boyfriend again. Again. Which meant they had already done this once. Blake had been with a man. Slept with him, kissed him, nearly had full-on sex with him. He wasn’t sure the person he was anymore. But despite all the odd feelings and the questioning, Blake felt a spark around Adam like nothing he had ever felt before. He loved him. The only thing that kept Blake from throwing himself into Adam’s arms was knowing how this whole thing fell apart the first time.

He thought about what Adam had just said. He didn’t know where on earth all this had come from, but he kind of admired Adam for it. The more Blake thought about it, the more he realized Adam was right. They deserved to be together. Now that they had seen how amazing it was, time apart was downright torture.

And poor Adam. The little guy had looked so depressed the past few days. Blake felt ashamed of himself for letting him go through more pain after what he had to go through with surgery and treatment. He looked pretty confident right now, but Blake could still see the troubled look in his eyes. He wanted Adam so bad. He wanted him to never have to feel pain again.

 So he had a choice to make. Say no to Adam, again, break his heart, and break his own heart. Or say yes, and this time mean it. The question was, did he want Miranda and his reputation, or Adam?

Adam’s POV

Well this is it. I’ve made a fucking fool out of myself, and for what? Nothing. I should just leave now while I still have some dignity left…

Just as Adam finished the thought Blake spoke.

“Adam, ya know I love you, but…”

Yep. Here it comes. I knew it was too good to be true.

Adam waved him off. “Forget it. I’m sorry I brought it up. You’re right. We can’t do this.” He was turning to leave when he felt Blake’s strong hands on his shoulders. Blake spun him around and pressed his lips to Adam’s, caressing his head in his hands. Adam melted. He felt Blake hold on tighter, supporting him, never letting go of his lips.

They pulled away. “You didn’t think I was gonna let ya go that easy, did ya?” Blake said, smiling that big grin that made Adam fall to pieces.

Adam punched Blake’s arm. “You shithead! Yeah, I thought I was gonna have to walk out of here with the little pride I had left. You scared me.”

“Well you don’t have to be scared anymore. I’m here for ya Adam. For good.”

“I don’t ever want to do this again. What we have is too special.”

Blake pulled him into a tight embrace. Adam buried his face in Blake’s shirt, inhaling his sweet scent, fighting to hold back tears. Blake was his. He was Blake’s. This time, they wouldn’t let go.