GUY FRIDAY

HIDE AND SEEK

        I attempt to play hide and seek with the lemon man today. I look all over the house, but I lose because I can't find him. I give up and lay by the pool. I receive a call around midnight from an ex-client of mine. Director James Savoy.

        "Guy, I need a favor."

        "Yes?"

        "The actress for my new film just fired her whole team and she needs you."

        "She sounds like a dream to work for."

        "Please, just help her while she finds a new assistant."

        "I feel like she needs a lot more than an assistant if she fired her whole team."

        "She has a photo shoot on Monday and we begin filming Thursday."

        "I am booked up through next week."

        "Guy, please."

        "Let me see if I can get someone to cover my clients. I'll call you tomorrow."

        "Thank you."

        I text three personal assistants that are part of my backup squad. I frequently send them clients I am unable to work for. I rarely use them for clients that I already committed myself to. I'm not running a damn temp-agency. I take three DICE-DOWN pills and sleep for six hours.

*

        Morning. Four DICE-UP pills. Mint tea. Banana. I call my clients for next week and ask if I can send replacements instead.

        "Someone called me last night. It's an emergency."

        I send them the details of my available backup team. I always ask because I do not cancel. I never apologize. It's past noon when I finish reorganizing the following week. I'm sitting in the kitchen, my office for the day. I call James and ask for the details to be emailed. I remind him that I do not start until Monday and can not receive a billion calls and texts from my client until Monday.

        I walk out to the pool and read James's email. The actress is Lennox. Former teen TV star. Lennox finished a six-year TV contract with her hit show and then left the scene for a couple of years. She had a small role in a film that earned a nomination for an Oscar this past season. The film did not win any awards, but the role put her back on the map. Lennox is nineteen. James Savoy's new film is a teen thriller and Lennox is the lead. I can guarantee they are sleeping together.

        I research and make calls to prepare myself for the early Monday shoot for HAUTE magazine. Following the shoot Lennox and I will squeeze in a personal meeting to discuss the week before her interview with an entertainment blog later that afternoon.