GUY FRIDAY

RUMORS

        The HAUTE shoot runs late and we miss our scheduled personal meeting. I sit next to Lennox as she interviews for the entertainment blog.

        "So Lennox, are you excited about filming with James Savoy?

        "Oh yes, I think this film is going to be fun for everybody!"

        "Is it true that you two are an item?"

        "Don't answer that." I interrupt.

        "How is your mom? I heard you fired her last week as your manager."

        "Don't answer that," I repeat.

        Lennox's face shifts into a panic.

        I tell the blog that my client will only answer questions about the film, nothing personal and that we are leaving in ten minutes.

*

        It's nine in the evening. I'm pulling up to a house in the Hills that Lennox recently purchased. I take two DICE-UP pills. Lennox and I sit in the dining room to discuss the week.

        "Can I please hire you permanently?" Lennox asks, again.

        "I'm just here for the week, we need to be looking for a permanent assistant for you immediately."

        Lennox has tears in her eyes. I am tired. I take another DICE-UP.

        I begin to address the rumors.

        "You need to cut off the fat that is your inner circle. Feed each person a rumor about a new boyfriend and other fake news. The rumors should all have a different detail."

        Lennox nods her head up and down.

        "Do you have a gay model or actor friend you can trust?"

        "Yes."

        "Perfect, he's your new boyfriend. Let him know tomorrow."

        "Ok, I will."

        "So confide in one friend about the new boyfriend, the next one share a secret about you breaking up with your old assistant because you're over the lesbian phase. Do a pregnancy rumor, dating a Danish prince, and a witch-cult thing. Whatever stories arrive in the gossip magazines and blogs will expose your spies."

        Next, I go over the first days of shooting. I tell Lennox I rented a house in Tarzana near the high school she will be filming in.

        "I've selected three extras from central casting that will be on set Thursday. We will choose one to be driven over to the Standard on Sunset each night pretending to be you. Fake gay boyfriend will stop by one of the nights. You will stay at the rented house next to the location. Everyone will be signing NDAs."

        I am beyond tired. I fall asleep in my jeep. I wake up the next morning to Lennox, knocking on my window.