Goodbye Henry

Glimpses

You know when you catch a glimpse of something and you have to stare for a while to make sure your not imagining it? i had that about a million times during November. I looked out windows and thought i would see Henry stood there or in doorways, i even saw a boy crouching by Joy when i walked past but when i got closer or had a second look, nothing.

I felt like i was going insane. Henry was dead, how could i see him?

I knew i was imagining it but what Joy said always slipped into my thoughts. She saw him too but she said he spoke to her. She also said he couldn't see me yet, maybe he could now?

what was i talking about now? He wouldn't talk to me ever because he was dead! i was just letting my hopes get the best of me. Joy was young and naive and i was distracted.

I was experiencing one of the single worst things a person can experience. Missing someone who was dead. Meaning I couldn't miss him and text him to see him or call to hear his voice because he was never coming back. He was gone and I had to accept that.

Henry Rogers was now a past person and no longer one and only memories and photos, not an unopened box full of surprises to come.

Henry's life was over and mine had to continue.

Why was that being made so difficult though? Why couldn't I move on normally? Why did I have to sit here and see him wherever I look and remember his smile and expressions then hear about things he would say to Joy that were things he would always say.

Henry was sticking around when he shouldn't be and it didn't make things easier.

Henry was a smart kid. He always knew what to say and got A's 24/7 in every class, even the ones he hated. I
Just don't think he was smart enough to forge a death.

We always talked about leaving and escaping per say, but would he go
Through this much trouble just to escape? And without me....

All I could think about was this whole thing being fake. I needed to look into his file, I was never told full details of his disappearance and i guess I found a few pot holes. Everyone was kind of confused by the vanishing anyway.

No one was told many details it just kind of got out that he was gone and a few days later he was found dead. Done. Just like that.

I wasn't going to get my hopes up. Henry wasn't complicated, he was always relaxed and predictable in a way. He wasn't a spontaneous disappearance and fake death kind of person.

I had to think of the reasons he would of done it though. We had been fine since Christmas, it was months and months before his disappearance.

After that he still saw me everyday and walked to school with me as usual and nothing was too weird.

March was when he was completely fine again. I could talk to him about crushes without worrying that he'd be jealous and it was easy.

So how could we go from being fine again to him fake disappearing less than a month later? And it was November, Henry was pronounced dead and we had his funeral 7 months ago.

It would of been discovered by now right? I mean his parents couldn't and Joy was too young so i guess it did only leave me...