The Part That Hates {Rin Okumura x Reader}

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Sorry if this doesn't sound detailed, I kinda need to get back in my groove, I've been away from writing for so long!

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The day before you woke up, Rin stopped coming. Two months had passed since your accident, and the smell of the hospital chemicals was still foreign to your senses. Although mostly healed, your once broken body still ached all over, limbs feeling weak and numb. You couldn't do much more than turn your head to count the minutes that ticked by ever so slowly on the clock.

A young, humming nurse came in to change your IV drip, and nearly dropped the bag in shock when she saw you, eyes open as you laid helplessly on the bed you had been selfishly using during your hospital stay.

"(Y/N)!" She gasped your name in shock, fumbling to keep the IV bag in her grasp as she stared at you, only glancing down at her hands to be sure she caught the item. "You're awake!" She called a doctor in to give you a check up, and they deemed your vital signs were perfectly fine, like you'd been healed by a miracle.

"You're okay," they reassured, but you were anything less. You chose life because you wanted to see him again, but when you opened your eyes, you were greeted by an unnervingly quiet, empty room.

'Where is Rin?' You wondered, but deep down you knew. He probably found someone better, someone more worth his time, and you felt that familiar burning in your eyes as they welled up with tears, letting each roll silently down your cheeks. You didn't even have the strength to wipe them away, struggling to keep your cries quiet. Your shoulders were the first to start shaking before the sobs wracked your body as you trembled.

After everything, how could you still love him? How could you love anyone?

When you were released from the hospital, you decided to get your affairs in order. You went to see Mephisto first.

"I'd like to drop out of True Cross," you spoke confidently, hoping he wouldn't notice the wavering of your voice.

"Alright," he smiled, and it was done. You returned the things you didn't bring, and made a walk of shame back through your dorm to room, trying to block out the whispers and taunts, head down as ignorance refused to work in your favor.

You were glad Rin kept stopping by to feed your cat, Mittens, while you were in the hospital, but you weren't expecting to walk in on him handing the kitten a dish of cat food. The kitten immediately dug in, and Rin turned to the door when he heard it open.

You stood there, frozen, tears pooling in your eyes as anxiety started to take over, breathing quickly becoming heaving. You couldn't move. You couldn't think.

Should you run? Should you stay? Should you just ignore him? You didn't know what to do anymore. You opened your mouth to speak, but were troubled in finding the right words.

His eyes widened in shock, and he started to stand. "(Y/N), I-I..." He trailed off, and your shoulders trembled as he neared. You wanted to flee, but your legs refused to move. "I-I visited you...in the hospital...everyday..."

You bit your lip to keep from crying, and he took your silence as a cue to continue. "When...when did you wake up?"

You swallowed hard, and looked down. "The day after you stopped coming." Your voice was shaking, but so were you.

His heart sank, "I-I'm sorry, I just...I got busy..."

You nodded, refusing to look at him as your tears spilled over, trailing down your cheeks. "I know."

You closed the door so Mittens couldn't get out, and turned to the small closet the dorm offered you. You pulled your suitcase off the top shelf and placed it on what was once your bed.

"Where are you going?" He asked, unaware of your dropping out. You didn't know, you didn't really think things out.

"Away, I guess," you sniffled and rubbed at your eyes. You didn't have a home, you didn't have a family, you didn't even have friends. "Can you keep Mittens for me? I don't want him to go hungry, too."

"Y-yeah, I mean, sure I can take him, but what do you mean, you're going away?"

Why were you subjecting yourself to this, again? Why were you talking to the guy who ruined your life like you were friends?

"I dropped out."

"Of school?"

"Yeah. I'm no longer a student at True Cross," you laughed almost sadly, but you tried to stay lighthearted about it, opting for the hope that things might just get better for you if you just kept smiling on like nothing was wrong. It was hard.

"But you have nowhere to go!" He was shocked.

You looked up at him. "Yeah, that's what happens when your life goes to hell, Rin," your voice was trembling, but sharp as a knife. The anger in your tone shocked even you, and rubbed at the tears falling from your eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, I was just...I was mad..." he was quiet as he hung his head in shame at his previous actions, but you couldn't even pity him.

"I forgive, but I never forget, Rin," you bit back at his apology, sadness dissolving into anger you wished would just disappear. You didn't want to hurt him. You packed your things before hesitantly looking up at Rin.

His eyebrows knit together at his forehead sadly, and you wanted to hug him, thousands of 'I love you's crawling up your throat like word vomit you knew you shouldn't say, but you didn't want to love him. It hurt to love him, but you didn't want to lose him, either.

"Rin, I-!" He cut you off with a scoff, anger and scorn written across his face.

"No, you know what? I don't have to sit here and take this!" He grabbed Mittens and went to storm out. Panic pulled at you to stop him, and in the heat of the moment, the words started spilling out.

"I love you!"