Love could be such a fickle thing; easy to say and fake, but hard to feel, and when love was true, it could hurt like wounds to the heart.
Destiny was the same idea. Brilliant in perspective, but torturous in reality. Romance and fate always seemed to flow better in your dreams, and perhaps all you wanted was that ideal life full of love and beauty.
You coveted those with easy lives and sickly sweet love, and you were filled with jealousy knowing it was something you could never have. Despite this, hope that fate had something beautiful in store for you kept you going, and for awhile, you believed Rin was your fate, but once realization hit than you were not meant to be, you struggled to accept that he was no long yours.
It stung, but you let him go, stepping back from the safety you felt in his arms as you came to terms with the idea of setting him free.
Your fingertips ran gracefully down the soft skin of his arms as you took his hands in your own, smaller ones.
"I'm sorry," you apologized, head down as you struggled to meet his worried gaze. You knew well that if you fought for him, he would choose you, but the idea of tearing him away from his happiness hurt you more than you could even consider.
"Why?" He questioned, tilting his head just a little to try and meet your solemn expression. "Why would you be sorry for feeling? I'm the one who's sorry."
He gave your hands a tender squeeze to express his feelings of kindness and repentance as you bit your lip. Your chest felt tight, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you desperately fought them back. You felt almost suffocated with sorrow over the pain you had put him through.
"I..." he began, eyebrows pinching together at the center of his forehead with guilt, "I hurt you. And even now, I can't even make you happy..."
He chuckled, but the sound that once set your heart racing was pitiable. You slowly brought his hands to your forehead, pressing his cold knuckles to your heated and flushed skin.
"Please," you begged, "don't apologize. Not to me. Please don't make me love you any more than I already do..."
Your shoulders trembled and your voice cracked, ruining your attempt to seem composed long enough to say what you needed to.
"I'm sorry I was so dramatic and depressed," you bit your bottom lip to repress your tears; you had already cried enough for a lifetime. "And I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy, but I'm glad...that your new girlfriend does."
He released your hands just long enough to grab you by your shoulders, giving you a little shake.
"You really don't get it, do you?!" He grit his teeth, "I ruined everything for you! I-I spread those rumors just to seem cool, and I didn't wait for you! And I can't even give you some excuse for why I was so awful to you!"
Rin leaned in and rested his head against your chest, feeling the shaking of your quiet breaths as you muscled back your sobs, close enough to hear the erratic beating of your puzzled heart. Your hands hovered around him as you considered touching him again, worried that once you hold him, you might forget you needed to let go.
"I really...just ruined your life and then ran away because I was afraid..." he paid no attention to the tears racing down his cheeks as he held onto your weak-feeling body.
"Afraid...?" You repeated like the word was foreign to your tongue, feeling him nod against your chest as his hair brushed against and tickled the exposed skin of your neck. "Of what?"
His grip on you tightened ever so slightly as he almost didn't want to admit his faults. "I was...afraid of...not being liked by others...afraid of falling for you this hard...and afraid of loving someone so strongly. And I was stupid." He paused to take a shaky breath, "I was stupid for thinking I had to run away from wanting to be with you."
You laughed softly - almost sadly - as you finally wrapped your arms around his trembling form, holding him as close as you could get him.
"I was stupid, too," you soothed, "for thinking that I was ready to love someone before learning to love myself."
You leaned into him as you finally let yourself cry, feeling each sob shake your body as you gripped at the back of Rin's shirt. You pressed your face to his shoulder to calm your cries as you took in what you could.
You memorized the feel of his skin on yours, and the sense of warmth his body provided. You breathed in his scent and tried to remember the smile he wore when he held you for the first time as he mapped your features in his mind.
This was the end, you acknowledged, holding him flush against your body as you thought back on all the fun you had with him.
The dates, the smiles, the laughs, but most of all, you treasured him. His smile. His kindness. And that longing feeling tore at your heart once more, but you were finally ready.
You were finally ready to let go of Rin Okumura.
Fate works in funny ways. It twists and turns you down paths you never knew existed until it hits you like a sucker punch to the jaw.
You parted from Rin after a moment of hesitation, eyes once more tracing his features as you burned them into your mind, hand taking his to hold one last time as you memorized the feel of his fingers interlocked with yours, and you gave him one last smile.
Some things happen too soon, and others just aren't meant to be. The categories in which you and Rin fall are unknown, but the love you shared would always remain in your heart.
"Thank you, Rin. For everything," you let go of him and grabbed your things. Maybe you should travel, you considered. To take the opportunity to collect your thoughts and learn to treat yourself with kindness. But it was time to move on.
And maybe one day in the future, try again to love when you're ready. But Rin would always be in your heart.
"I love you," you placed your key in his palm and walked to the door of your dorm, glancing back at him one last time before you left for an unpredictable, happier life.
"Goodbye."
Little did you know, however, that fate would always bring you back to Rin.
————————————————<3
Hey guys! That's the end of The Part That Hates! Or is it?
This book has been one hell of a ride, but I hope you all enjoyed it!
If you'd all like to see a second book, let me know!
Thank you all for supporting this journey and encouraging me to help me get here! It's been so much fun, and I know you all were probably hoping for something more satisfying, but I do have another book in the works that I hope you'll look forward to!
I love you all!!
Teiko_Kuroko~<3
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The Part That Hates {Rin Okumura x Reader}
FanfictionYou've always been surrounded by darkness - lost in the overwhelming tsunami after tsunami of loneliness - when you meet a boy. He lights up your whole world with blue flames and you're finally able to see again. However, after three little words w...