It Will All Be Worth It

05: From scared of life to Stepping in it.

Beep.

Beep.

I am drawn to my phone as it vibrates by the call from my aunt, Ciana. She is as pretty as her name, and my favorite person next to my family. Mainly because she loves my mom and my siblings. She has always counseled us in many ways. As sometimes you only need someone to bring the life out of you. Therefore, I consider her my mentor too, as she keeps telling me that I am a young girl every now and then, whenever she has a chance too, she will tell me that being grown up, I need makeup, I need girly stuff, this and that. The list goes on. What should I be doing new and much more? How? When? She has all the answers.

I pick up the call as I speak to the phone.
"Oh hey, how come you called this newly young lady madame. Is there any new invention done for teenagers?." I smile to myself speaking mockingly to her. She never minds it.

"Young lady, I will keep you updated, if anything of that sort happens. For now, don't you hide your spiritless voice from me by acting so much content?"

"Well, it's like a bittersweet combination. To reason that I must tell you that it was the last day of finals, and I have done very well thought out it."

"Really? I am so glad that besides all the frustrating environment you are living it, you did it. It makes me happy to know, that you are brave enough to get through it." She speaks to me proudly.
"But, what's the bitter of it? Why being a sad sack?" She continued asking.

"It's just that I wish I had someone to talk to, something heart-to-heart, but its better to remain silent at the thought of being declared a stupid fool than to have a conversation and let the words pour out. The more I want to talk about the life suggestions that I need help with right now, the more this term of being fooled disapproves it." I tell her.

"Also, I didn't want mama to worry about me or my tensions. I wanted her to be relaxed, calm, out of depression, and disease freed." I continued.

"Oh, my little-big-strong baby. I know life can sometimes be hard, but always hope that there comes a better time forward to all this pain and panic.

" God, created everyone for a reason, and you have a reason too, so stop being disturbed about the stuff that didn't even come yet." She replied.

"Still." I sigh. " It's my birthday in a month, the worst birthday maybe. Mama would have told you that Papa is acting so nicely these days. He takes her to the hospital, he stands by her side during the testing, he is the one consulting the doctors as a family member. So I think that is nice enough. Being what he has done the entire life to her. Thinking about it stabs me directly in the heart. So what would mama be feeling about it? " I am about to burst out tears, but I do not allow that to happen. I am a strong brave big girl.

"Sweetheart, I remember those times. Too bad for a kid of your age. You were so little at that time. But, love is not the easiest thing, it can be the hardest it can possibly be. People get in trouble living in marriages. Because everything can't happen the way you think it to be. It's her life, she lived it the way she wanted. You are not the one to regret it when you know she never regrets any of her decisions."

"I.. Understand."

"But, I will never be taking such decisions and such choices. Even, I won't ever be choosing love or marriage for my future. NEVER."

"Your decisions will change as your life will flow forward my dear. Love is a great journey. You just have to be in it the right way with the right person. And I believe you'll be choosing good enough for you. Not everyone is the same in this world. " She said.

"I really swear, I'll never be like them!" I decide.

"Love will make it's away, little girl. It will happen once in your life and believe me it will be magical." I can imagine her smile telling me that.

"For now, engage yourself in some social media websites. Makes friends, it isn't that hard. I know your father won't approve maybe but it will be our little secret."

A playful grin appears on my face by that idea.

"This is a blasting idea, you are so.. So.. Helpful." Damn, I am at a loss of words. Why?
I don't know.

"Umm, well, bye for now sweet aunt, talk to you later. I have a mission to go!"

I tell goodbye as I hang up the call. Jumping from my bed to my laptop. Woah. This is true.

I open my laptop to see my favorite quote I put as the background image.
"Don't let someone else catch your dreams. You are the dream catcher..."

For me, I believed dreaming can happen with an open mind, open eyes, and an open heart. I'll be making my first social media account. What's so exciting about this? Who knows?

But, I was getting that instinct in my heart that something was going to happen. Maybe it's related to the hidden fantasy and my mind's thoughts. Maybe I must not be scared of life. It can be beautiful if I want it to be. Maybe this will be my step in life and now I'll do what is best for me.

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