Red&Blue (Raphxleo) (Leoxraph)

Distance

Raph's P.O.V

What am I doing? I'm pushing everyone away, just for Leo.

My two brothers never wanna be around me, anymore. I find myself always pushing away those who are close to me.

I can never get through a conversation with Donnie, without it ending with one of us screaming at each other. lately, Donnie has been ignoring me and whenever we're in the same room he walks away. The only time I speak to Donnie now is when it includes Leo. Even then the conversation ends with one of us getting mad, usually me, and storming out the room in anger or fear.

When it comes to Mikey I can't stand being around him. The sight of him irritates me. His voice angers me so much. Ugh! He's just so annoying, it actually amazes me. it's getting to a point where if I even hear Mikey or see him I'll just call him names. I don't know why he gets on my nerves so much. Just the presence of him makes me wanna beat him up but I hold my anger. He usually spends his time outside the lair due to me "bullying" him. He says he'd rather be somewhere where I'm not constantly getting discriminated. In my opinion, he's acting like a baby.

With splinter I just don't even try anymore. Splinter would ground me over and over again. with my punishments getting worse, each time. I was fine with staying in the lair Because Leo was at the lair. At first, splinter would try to tell me another one of his stupid morals or a passage of wisdom. I would usually tell him I don't care and walk off, Or just get up and leave. At first, he seemed shocked by my attitude. He's used to it now. Splinter gave up on me and doesn't bother me anymore. He denies me training sessions which angers me so much. Splinter tried to lock me up in my room but somehow he knew that I was fine with that also. He eventually stopped caring and he lets me do whatever I want as long as it doesn't affect him. Now it's just turned to me avoiding father and him giving me disappointed looks.

April and Casey don't come around anymore either. it's probably Because of me. Last Time I saw them was a few days before Leo got hurt. I'm pretty sure they still see Donnie and Mikey when they go out for patrol. They don't even come to the lair to see Leo. Am I that bad? they won't even come to see one of their best friends when they're in a crucial state.

I'm a disaster. I make everything more shit. I feel like shit. I've been obsessed with Leo for the past few days. I've pushed everyone away for you. I've given up all my connections for you. I'm just broken. I need you back, or else I'll have no one. you are the only one I can talk to and you're not even conscious. Leo, I need you. it's all my fault. I'm the reason your on this bed. I'm sorry. While you were fighting the shredder I was just lying on the rooftop. I was trying to distract my self from my own pain, all I did was create a worse one in the process. I don't know how you can forgive me. If you die it's my fault...

I need to get out of here. It's so depressing in here. I need a new atmosphere. I don't care if splinter says I can't leave the lair I've been down here for almost a week. I'm gonna lose my mind. I need some fresh air. I'm just gonna clear my mind and jump around New York for a bit. I'm kinda craving pizza to be honest.

I'll be back Leo.

I get up from my seat leaving behind loud creaks from my chair. My body's very stiff. Have I been sitting there for that long? As I stretch my body, loosening up my: legs, arms, neck. Loud cracks emit from my body.

I slowly stop stretching, as my attention is stolen by Leo. I catch my self staring at Leo. I'm Staring at his beautiful face, Muscular arm... He's so cute. Ugh, I just want to jump into his arms. I want him to wrap his legs around me. I want him to slam my body on the bed and kiss me roughly. I want to be yours. I want to beside you constantly. I don't ever want to leave your side. I love y-