Red&Blue (Raphxleo) (Leoxraph)

Useless

Raph's P.O.V

I'm at Leo's bedroom door. I'm standing there frightened, nervous, shy. My hands are shaking, my palms are sweaty. My body is tensing up from the anticipation, of his arms around my body. My mind is running wild with dirty thoughts and imaginations. Now is the time I confess my feelings to Leo and tell him how I feel. He likes me too, I just know it. My knuckles are hovering over his door. One knock and he's opening that door, Raphael.

C'mon raph, you've done much scarier, braver and life-threatening things. it's just Leo. What do you have to be so scared of what's the worse that can happen? Him saying no?

No, Him telling splinter...

Oh God, no, I'm not doing this. I'm risking everything for Leo again. I'm about to sacrifice everything I have and love for just a slim chance he feels the same way back. Why do I do this to myself? I set myself up for failure.

Raph he is your brother the last person he would want to be with is you. He probably hates you for how you used to treat him before he went into a coma. He's probably wondering why you haven't made any nasty remarks on his appearance or his weird yet cute obsession with space heroes. you have been acting differently.

Pssh... he probably thinking nothing of it everyone has been acting different.

Yeah, that's true but you outrank them by a substantial amount. you tried to kiss your own damn brother.

But why didn't he reject me? Or why did he reject me with such hesitation? Deep down he cares about me. He must feel the same way back. Leo loves me like how I love him, that could only explain the way he let me touch him. We are meant to be. I love you Leonardo hamoto.

"What are you doing?" Leo's voice hit the back of my head. I jump from his voice and almost lose balance.

My body turns around and I'm met by Leo's eyes. My legs are shaking. I didn't want him to be here. I wanted him inside his room. I already had a plan of how we were gonna be together. I didn't want to tell him how I felt like this. Me almost dieing of shock. And this awkward vibe fills the air. We are just staring at each other. He must be so confused. My breathing is starting to become heavier with each inhale I take. My posture starts to loosen. I feel sick. He must think I'm such an idiot. I fucking hate myself. I'm so useless.

I feel weak. Like I'm gonna pass out. A pulsing pain emerges in my head, almost like a headache; no it is a headache. My legs are gonna give out. My whole body just feels like jelly. I could just topple over. I need to rest. I throw my back to whatever the nearest object is.

An immediate sense of relief courses through my body when I learned onto the door behind me. take a deep breath raph, calm down.

okay... inhale... exhale...

I felt like I was gonna faint. Do you think he noticed my breathing or that I almost had a heart attack?

Fuck. Of course, he noticed my damn panic attack. I'm leaning his door breathing heavily while looking at the ceiling. I probably look like a mess. Why do I have to be so weird?

My hearts still racing but I think I look calmer now. Hopefully, he acts as nothing happened and makes the whole situation less awkward for us.

He's still standing there. Staring at me with his beautiful eyes. I begin staring at him back. A small chuckle escapes from Leo's mouth as he starts to walk over to me.

Wait, Leo's walking towards me! No. My whole body starts tensing up again. All over again I'm looking at Leo with scared eyes. Leo places himself in front of me and looks down at me. Why does he look disgusted?