Invulnerable

Traitor in our territory

   When I was falling down the pit in the middle of nowhere, I felt a strange kind of hollowness. The speed was very high for me to process and before I knew it, I was at the bottom.  When Kalki old me about Ritika, I felt something similar.  A strange emptiness that was very hard for my brain to process and then it hit me with the force of avalanche (and in case you’re wondering if I have any experience with that, well, I do not it’s just a random phrase, but it has power!).

The shock was horrible, I mean, I knew that Ritika was no fighter and would probably get hurt.  I had expected a few minor injuries, and then had thought she would stay well away from the monsters.  Only now did I realize that in the five years that I had known her and made her my trusted friend, I hardly understood her.  She had lost her life fighting for something that she hardly cared about.  Or was that all an illusion?

Suddenly a very ugly thought occurred in my mind.  What if I never knew her?  I mean, was all that about the monsters, gods and the world ending in ten days being a joke or reality show for her?  She had said so when she was alive!  A strange guilt washed over me, as I realized the girl I had always considered shallow and a drama queen was actually much more deep than that; I had been such a cruel friend, I hated myself for not realizing her true potential: the girl I had once called my friend; and now she was gone; gone beyond, from where I could never reach her.

I wanted to pull my hair, scream and lift the strain from my eyes and let them pour out all the misery in tears, but the grief of losing someone whom I always cared about was so intense; it was grief beyond what I could hold and perhaps this was the reason that only a single tear managed to trickle from the corner of my eye.

My knees were wobbling, I felt like I was going to buckle over and fall and this time there was not going to be pillows to protect me from a harsh land; for the shock was in my mind and would always nag me; until the day came when I seized to exist.

 “I know this must be hard,” Kalki said and I barely heard him for I was so lost in thought. “But Natasha, there is someone there who needs you more.”

I looked up at him, not even considered that I was letting tears flow and showing weakness in front of someone I always wanted to impress, but it did not matter, not anymore.

He nodded and ushered ahead of him and I realized he was talking about Kritika.  Another pang of guilt hit me in my heart.  How could I be so selfish?  Kritika was her sister, obviously she must be miserable.  Out of a vague sense, I addressed my feet to move towards her.

When I was walking right behind her I thought how I would express my feelings to her.  Kritika, however sporty and tomboyish she acted, was soft and sentimental inside.  I’d seen it.  She had a huge heart, she just kept it buried and tried to hide it, but today her real self was visible.  Her soul was broken into a million pieces which needed to be glued together by someone close to her, by me.

I stepped forward and put my hand on her shoulder. “Kritika,” I said trying to keep my voice constantly calm and confident. “Come back to reality.  Ritika is gone, because life ends, it happens to everybody, it going to happen to you someday, to me and right now it’s happening to millions more.  In about a week, everybody will most likely be dead and gone. Yamraj, the god of the dead thought that was right.  Look, I know this is not fair, but when it comes to death, anything can be justified.  You can’t interfere with his decision, nor can you get her back from heaven because she is not going to hell.  She died a hero and we need to respect that.  We are at war, defending a cause upon which the future of the whole world resides.  We cannot show weakness.  We need to make her happy, proud that she had us for friends and to do that we must believe in and defend the purpose for her death.