The Heart Wants What It Wants: The Sequel

4

When it was time to carry the casket to the hearse waiting out front, James released her hand and leaned over, asking her quietly to escort his mother outside. She nodded and scooted close to Mary, exchanging his hand for hers.

Hers was cold, and as they stood and walked with his sister, aunt, and uncle behind James and the other men carrying his father's casket, the conversation her and Draco had had that first night at the restaurant echoed in her memory.

"You think love ends up as a painful thing every time?"

"I think any kind of love ends painfully. Whether it be from death or another cause, it will end someday. There's a price to pay for loving someone."

"Not necessarily," she countered.  "For one of the two people, yes, but the one that dies first won't have experienced that loss."

"Touche, one of them will not know the horrible pain of losing love, but for the other one..."

"So you think love is a ticking time bomb, waiting to cause unimaginable pain someday for one or both parties involved?"

"Yes, and it scares the hell out of me to be that vulnerable.  You've experienced it.  Tell ell me I'm wrong."

When they'd reached the bottom of the stairs everyone stood quietly as the men quietly loaded the casket into the back of the hearse, and her mind returned to the present.  The unnatural silence seemed very loud, as not a soul moved or spoke.  She gripped the cotton handkerchief in her free hand tightly.

His mother's grip increased as the men stepped back and closed the door, and she squeezed back, picturing herself in Mary's shoes.

Whether saying goodbye or whether burying someone one day, love came at a high price.

But she couldn't imagine a life without love.

When James returned, she went to release his mother's hand so he could take his place by Mary's side but she kept her hand firmly in Hermione's.

Hermione glanced up at James apologetically but he merely moved to take his place on Mary's other side.

As everyone began filing towards their cars to leave for the cemetery, she walked his mother to the car. When Mary finally released her hand, she got in the backseat and closed the door, dreading this last part the most.

It was the final goodbye and the worst imaginable pain.

"Almost finished," she heard her say to her son, as though she knew he wasn't as strong as he appeared to be.

Was that why she'd asked Hermione to come? Not to be any support for herself but because she'd sensed as Hermione did how dark of a place he was in?

Either way she was glad she hadn't merely sent flowers. She couldn't imagine not being here right now, and though it was up there as one of the top ten worst days of her life, she wouldn't have missed it for the world.

The graveside service was mercifully short and poignant. As everyone began filing back to their cars afterward, she followed behind James and his mother. As James helped her into the car, Emily approached.

"Hermione, we're dropping my aunt and uncle off at the restaurant and then heading back, so if you want to-"

"She's staying, Emily, thank you, sweetie. Don't leave when we get there until you give me a hug."

Mary had spoken. Emily glanced at Hermione with a disapproving glare before turning to head back to her car.

A few minutes later, when they parked at the restaurant, his mother got out before James could open the door and informed him she was going to say goodbye to Emily and walk in with his uncle. She waved him towards Hermione and walked away, leaving him no choice.