The Heart Wants What It Wants: The Sequel

10

She'd only made it a few steps down the street when the mental image of him standing by the bathroom door stopped her in place.  Unable to take another step, she merely stood in the middle of the sidewalk, letting people walk around her.  

Her shoulders slumped and her arms dangled to her side as she stared ahead, realizing she was making a choice.

If she left, it would surely seal their fate for good.
If she went back, she could still have a chance with him, though it wouldn't be easy to overcome everything, and she wasn't sure James was what she ultimately wanted.

Tipping her head back, she stared up at the black night sky and sighed heavily.  

"Hey," she heard him behind her, already spotting her.

She swore under her breath, wishing she'd have made herself keep going.  She couldn't look at him, and stared down at the sidewalk instead.

"Let me walk you home."

She said nothing.  They were only going to hurt each other until someone put down their weapon but it couldn't be tonight.  The shock of his confession and the images in her head were too raw, too fresh.

He ran his hand over the top of his head, realizing just how bad it was.  

"Can we not do this out here?  Let's go back inside and talk."

"You're tired and I'm upset.  I don't think either of us is in any position tonight to talk about this rationally."

He looked pained, as though he genuinely felt terrible.

"I just wanted to be upfront with you.  You've been honest with me, even if it took a little while to get there, and I want to be honest with you."

She bit her tongue.

"Can I at least make sure you get back to your room? Or can you at least let me know when you get in?"

"That night you were with her, you weren't even thinking of me at all," she said softly, staring at an old piece of gum on the sidewalk by her feet.  "You never wanted me to let you know I made it back safely any of the other nights either."

He didn't even try to counter her remark.

"I gotta go," she turned and started walking.

He didn't call after her or chase her down, and for once she was thankful for it.

When she made it back to the hotel she didn't text him that she'd made it back.  She tossed her phone on the bed and changed into a t-shirt and a pair of comfy pants before throwing herself down on the bed.  As she lay on her back staring up at the ceiling, tears silently trickled over her cheeks and into her ears.  

After a brief pity party, she wiped her cheeks, sat up, and turned on the tv - finding a movie to watch for a distraction.  She wasn't listening to a word but just having the movie on made her feel less alone in her room.

When her phone began ringing, she sighed as she saw James' name on her screen.

Her "hello" was quiet, soft, and unlike someone who should be yelling at the moment.

"Can we talk now?"

She snorted softly.

"What else did you want to say?"

"I didn't plan on it happening.  John and his girlfriend left that night and her friend stayed behind to finish her drink."

"Do you remember that first night when we met when I asked if you were seeing someone?  You said if you were seeing someone you wouldn't stay behind at a bar by yourself.  Wouldn't that same principle apply to some girl staying behind last night when we're trying to figure things out?"