Game of Love -- Damien Haas X Reader

04

Friday, April 19, 2019

7:09 pm

A week had passed since the whole incident with Wes happened. We haven't really talked in general. We pass each other in the hallways and exchange odd greetings, but that is about all. I miss him. I hate to admit it, but I do. I miss his stupid smile, and his stupid laugh, the way that he brushes his hair out of his face. I miss the giant dork. I also, miss the way he makes me feel. Not in that way. He makes me feel loved, appreciated... wanted. He makes me feel ways about myself that no one else does. 

On the flip side, Damien and I have had lunch together a few times in the last week, getting to know each other more. Damien is a nice guy, and I feel very comfortable around him. The same way I felt with Wes but with no sex this time. I really love spending time with Damien. It is refreshing to have a close relationship with someone and not have it be about the physical relationship. Damien is the type of guy that makes you feel as if you knew him your whole life like you grew up together. I never had many friends growing up, and the fact that Damien makes me feel like I did draws me towards the friendship we have created. 

The day was done. I edited the final Smosh Games video that I would for at least the next week. Let me tell you, watching videos of the person you are slightly avoiding and the person you want to be around constantly is very straining. I turned off my computer and gathered my things. I walked out the door, turning left towards the hallway that leads to the exit. As I was walking, I ran into Wes. He looked at me with a sad face. 

"Um...hey." He greeted, looking at the ground. 

"Hi." I breathed. 

"How have you been?" He inquired, starting to look at me.

"I've been better."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Well, uh... I should probably get going." I said as I grabbed the strap of my bag. 

"The Smosh Crews are going out for drinks, you are welcome to come if you'd like to. I'm sure no one would have a problem with it." Wes offered, holding out his hand. 

"I don't know. I don't have a ride and I would feel bad for intruding on the bonding time." I rebutted. 

"Y/N. You know that I will give you a ride. Plus you're not intruding on anything." Wes argued, giving me a 'please go, I miss you' kind of look. 

I caved in, "Fine."

"Yay!" Wes said happily as ever.

I followed Wes to the Smosh Games room.

"Guys, if you don't know her already, this is Y/N. She is one of our editors and she is joining us tonight." Wes introduced me as I stood awkwardly next to him. 

The crew all said hello, welcoming me to the night out. Everyone got their stuff and started to head out. Mari and Joven both went first to get a table. 

"Are you riding with Wes or do you need a ride?" Damien asked me as he pushed his chair to his desk. I saw Wes look over at us from his desk.

"I'm going with Wes." I smiled at him as I looked at Wes. 

"Darn. Well. I will see the two of you there I guess." Damien exclaimed as he waved goodbye. 

"Bye Damien." Both Wes and I said. 

Now it is just Wes and me in the room.  

"I'm sorry for avoiding you lately." I apologized to Wes. 

"I just don't understand why you did it." He responded, still facing away from me. 

"I didn't want to hurt you by saying I don't know if I feel the same way about you. I didn't realize that I was doing worse by not telling you anything and avoiding you. I pushed you away and I'm sorry."

"I know you are," Wes replied solemnly, and the room fell silent. 

"We should get going," Wes said, turning around and looking into my eyes with a sad look. 

"Okay," I said turning around, Wes following me. 

7:54 pm

Wes and I got to the bar and met the rest of the crew. Laughs all around as Mari and Joven made a stupid joke, or as Shayne did an impression of a tipsy Courtney. Damien and I were the only ones who were 100% sober. Damien doesn't drink and I figured that I would be driving Wes home. 

"Does anyone want to dance?" Courtney asked, moving her head to the beat of the music in the bar. The small dance floor calling her name.

"Sure, why not." Mari and Olivia agreed. 

The girls went to dance the night away and not soon after, the guys went to the bar to get more drinks. I stayed and saved the table. I peered across the bar, looking at the two boys who currently had my heart. 

Wes. The one person I have complete trust in. The person I have grown so close to, physically and emotionally. He has brought me so much joy to my sad gloomy life. He picked me up and cared for me in my hardest times and has not left. The man has shown me love and affection like no one has before. The one who I should have fallen in love with a long time ago. He is my person, not in the way he wants. He wants to be so much more, he wants me to be someone I never can be. 

Commitment has never been my thing. It was once, but that was broken, it left me broken. The one committed long-term relationship I ever had, turned out to be a lie. One aspect of my life, ruined every relationship I will ever have. 

Then there is Damien. The man who I have known for a while but only got to know over the past week or so. He is the kind of person who makes you feel comfortable when you are around them. When he looks at me, there is a spark inside of me. He is funny and sweet, his smile cures my sadness momentarily. He makes me feel good about myself. The way that he treats everything like it is a big deal, even if it is smaller than a bug. He is passionate about everything that he does. Plus, he is new. There is no previous baggage there. 

Not to say that Wes is none of those things that I claimed Damien to be, Damien just exerts those qualities more. 

I don't know if I even have feelings for Damien. With Wes, there is something there, I know that for a fact. I just can't find myself wanting to act on them. Damien is new, a refreshing aspect in life after years of being with the same person. Maybe that is why I feel the way that I do for Damien. Maybe it is because he is new. 

Wes has been the same for years now, just recently changing the game a little bit. Damien is a whole new game. Something new to figure out, to learn everything about. Damien challenges me in ways that Wes doesn't anymore. 

Do I want to be comfortable or do I want to be challenged? 

Why am I even considering Damien? Who knows if he has feelings for me. I know that he single, but I could be just another friend to him. At least I know that Wes has feelings for me, real and definite feelings. 

Wes is the safe choice.

Damien is the daring choice.

I know it is bad of me to be comparing these two guys. It makes me sound like a bad person. I just need to analyze everything to see how I really feel, to make sure I make the right choice. 

I wish that this was easier. 

I wish that there was a clear choice.

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Happy Monday Y'all!!

I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter. We are getting more into the past and the thoughts going through your head.

Let me know what I need to fix. Give me all the criticism!

What do you want to be in the story? Comment and let me know!

See you guys next update!

emily :)