Game of Love -- Damien Haas X Reader

15

July 22,2019 

7:38 am

3 days. 

It been 3 days since Wes kissed me the night he came over to talk. 

It has been 3 days that nothing but pure guilt has been eating me alive. 

I can't believe that I let myself do what I did. 

Every time I think about the guilt, I relive that moment:

"I want to be with you." Wes repeated in a hushed tone, this time leaning his forehead on mine.

"Why?" Is all I could ask, my eyes moving from his nose to his eyes.

"Because I love you."

With those last words, he leaned his face into mine and connected our lips together, allowing them to meet for the first time since the last time we were together. Wes' palm finding its way to my neck, and gently cupping the back of it. His lips fit mine like the perfect match of a puzzle piece. My lips wanted his just as much as his wanted mine. Sparks flew around us and I knew I was going to regret what I was doing in the morning. 

The kiss grew deeper and more passionate, taking me back to the days when we were together. The two of us closer than ever before, propelling us into the actions we were taking.

My mind slipped into a place of  nothing but the pleasure that was consuming me. Wes moved his hand from my waist to my rump. His other hand moved up and down my side.

Moments passes before my mind slipped out of the nothing it was in and to one thing. The one thing that should have stopped this before it happened. 

Damien.

My sweet Damien. The kindest person on earth who deserved more than this. I was cheating on him with my ex. Sure we aren't together as an official couple but this is still cheating.

"Stop." I muttered between Wes' kisses. 

"What?" He asked, moving his mouth to leave open mouthed kisses on my neck. 

He knows those are my favourite. 

"I said stop." I pushed away from him, my voice hushed.

The truth is, I didn't want to stop. I wanted to keep going. That is the most messed up part. Even with Damien flooding my head, I wanted nothing more than to be with Wes in that moment. 

Do I still think that now?

Sometimes I do and then I talk myself out of it, and other times I don't have that opinion. 

"Why? What's wrong?" Wes inquired.

"This. This is wrong, and should never have happened."

Wes backed away and huffed. 

"I guess I should go..." Wes trailed on and headed to the door. 

"Yeah. Like I said before, thank you." I sweetly replied as he walked out of the door. 

He smiled before he walked away and I shut the door behind him. 

I knew that I broke his heart for a second time in that moment. 

The first being when I told him that I was not into the idea of us being in a real relationship. 

Not only did I break Wes' heart that night, I broke two others, the heart that belongs to Damien and the one that belongs to me. 

Damien's heart does not know that it is broken but if I tell him, it will for sure be broken. 

My heart is broken for Wes, for Damien and for me. 

How could I let myself go that far? 

I will never forgive myself and neither will Damien. 

I haven't told him yet. I don't even know if I will. I need to tell him but I don't want to see the look of pure pain on his face when I do. 

The truth is, I need to tell someone or the guilt will continue to eat a bigger and bigger hole inside of me. 

The problem is, no one else knows about Damien and I or Wes and I. So there is no one I can talk to. 

I could maybe tell Liam since he is like my brother but then I would be breaking some of the rules/decisions that were made in both relationships. I guess I already broke the rules by cheating so what is the point of trying not to break anymore?

I love Wes, but that relationship was just toxic and it would do me no good to get back into a relationship with him. 

Then I have Damien, the perfect lovable boy that makes me feel good about myself. He fills me with so much joy that there is no way that I can let him go. 

I have to keep Damien in my life. I need to keep him in my life; but there is one thing I need to do before we can continue on with our relationship. 

Tell him what happened. 

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Hello there everybody!! 

How are you guys?

I am currently updating chapters and editing them. If you have already read this story but "new" chapter keep coming up, just know I am editing and republishing. I hope you enjoy reading or rereading as I update. 

Anyway, I will see you guys in the next chapter! 

See ya. 

xoxo, 

emily :)