Insane

Chapter 19: Lies

Chapter 19: Lies

*Bella's POV

"I had an attack and slammed myself repeatedly on my wall. I stopped myself in time before I could do any more damage to myself" Tee spoke as we sat in our therapy group. Daisy had asked him how he had those purple bruises on his head and marks on his neck. He blamed it on his condition. Apparently he has done that before and didn't want to tell the truth since he would be than bumped into another floor. He was placed in suicidal watch for 42 hours before he was released back here. During the whole time he never made eye contact with me, he simply played with the end of his shirt.

"What about you Bella? Would you like to share something today?" I was sitting on my chair with my legs in a cris-cross position. I looked at her and contemplated, I won't be here for that long so it won't matter what I say and I certainly don't want to stay 5 minutes extra. "I feel like..." I trailed off, I don't know what to say. What do I feel? "Alone in life."

She looked at me with a sympathetic look. That. That I don't like, I hate people feeling sorry for me. I don't need that. "What makes you feel like that?"

"I use to have everything, now I only have myself" she nodded her head wanting me to continue "We were the family. My mom would wake us up with breakfast, my dad would drive us to school before heading to work. My brother and I were like any other sibling. We would play, laugh, fight" I let out a small laugh remembering how my brother and I would be playing all fine than out of nowhere start fighting about something ridiculous. "Than one day, it all changed" my voice became softer and more quieter.

"What changed?" I could burly hear her, my thoughts ran through of what possibly could have changed it all. My mom hated me when everything changed. She was somewhat nice to my brother but to me? She just despised me. She would yell, smack me and make sure she hurt me physically and emotionally. I felt my throat dry up and a burning sensation rise. I closed my eyes and breath in deeply before composing myself. "Don't know. Next" I said monotonously.

She smiled moving onto the next person not wanting to push me which I was thankful. "Sisi, you seem more cheerful today than any other day" she smiled warmly at her. She giggled and wiggled in her seat excitedly and nodded her head flashing a smile. She looked adorable because her front tooth had fallen out recently. "Yes yes! I found a new family!"

I looked nervous, I was really hoping she would have let that go, but I would be stupid if I thought that was possible. She beamed at me and than held Justin's hand who was sitting next to her. He looked up at me with a smile thinking what happened yesterday had somehow changed my mind. I licked my lips before focusing on Daisy.

"Wow really?" She seemed confused but went along with it.

"Yup!" She popped the 'p'. "Justin is my daddy, annnnnnd Bella is my mommy. Right Bella" my eyes darted to hers. She held so much joy, hope, and love. How could I have done this to her. I'm a monster for giving her all these ideas. I didn't realize I hadn't spoken for a while until Sisi got up from her chair and walked slowly to me, her smile had vanished and she placed her tiny hand on my knee with teary eyes. "Bella?" I blinked bring myself back to reality. I let out a sigh and hated myself even more for doing this. I picked her up and settled her on my lap "of course" I whispered hugging her small frame.

"Wow, Bella you have been given a huge responsibility here" Daisy pipped in. I glanced up at her who seemed concerned than at Justin who seemed to be admiring us. I just can't tell her the truth, I can't. I'm leaving and that's that, but when I look at Sisi it's like my mind starts changing. I know I'll be letting her down, that's something I never had a problem on doing because no one really depended on me like she does.