make me come alive

Part 14

It's been 3 days since I was last at school. Phone calls, after phones calls from a worried Mr.Jeon fills both mine and my mums phone.

"Honey, Mr.Jeon called again. I told him you still weren't feeling well." My mum opens my bedroom door and sits on the edge of my bed.

"Why won't he stop calling?" I say frustratedly into my tear soaked pillow.

"He's just worried that's all. Some students have also been worried about you, he mentioned on the phone too." She runs her fingers through my frizzy hair.

"Who?" I take my head out of my pillow and look at her through my blurry vision.

"He didn't mention any names. How about today we go see a doctor? I know someone who could maybe help you?" She wipes away a fallen tear that runs down my cheek.

"They won't be able to help me mum. We've been to so many doctors and none of them can do anything." My voice cracks. I feel so helpless. Why do I have to be messed up? Why do I have to have these crazy dreams?

"I've explained to the head doctor about these dreams. He said he's had similar cases. His friends has them too. Your not alone sweetie, he said he wants you to come in and have a talk with him if you feel up to it." She strokes my hair.

"When?" I close my eyes. I know what the outcome is going to be. They won't be able to do anything.

"1.50pm today. He said he's made a free space for you. But it's your choice sweetie, if you don't want to go then don't go. But I think he might be able to help in some way. Even if it's talking to someone once in a while." She weakly smiles.

"What time is it now?" I wipe my eyes.

"It's 11.49am." She glances down at her silver watch.

Its all just a waste of time, i know it.

"Okay I'll go. But this is the last time I'm trying to get help." I sit up and place a kiss on her forehead.

"Okay sweetie." She smiles.

"I'm going to get in the shower and get changed then. What's for lunch?" I weakly smile.

"I'll make you your favourite?" She stands up and heads for the door.

"Sounds good to me. Thank you mum. I really mean it." I walk over and hug her tightly.

"I know you do honey. I love you." She squeezes me.

"I love you more."

~

1.50pm rolls around quicker than I expected. I sit in the waiting room of a fancy doctors surgery across town, waiting to be called in.

I take a deep breath in, feeling anxiety starting to rise in my stomach.

"Luna Kim?" A mans voice calls out.

My head whips up and I'm met with a young man in a white doctors gown. He's very handsome, and looks only a couple of years older than me. Is there a trend of young people becoming teachers and doctors?

"Sweetie?" My mum taps my shoulder.

"Oh yeah, Uh sorry." I stand up and walk towards the doctor.

"Hello Luna, would you like to come follow me?" He smiles.

Gulp.

Here goes nothing.

"Sweetie I'm going to wait here okay? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable about talking in front of me, so I'll just be outside okay?" My mum nods her head and smiles.

"Okay, I'll see you soon." I give her a nervous smile.

The doctor leads me down a long corridor and opens a door to his left .

"After you." He gestures.

"Thank you." I mumble and walk into his room.

This place is fancy as hell.

"Make yourself comfortable. Would you like a drink or anything?" He smiles once again and sits down at his paper work filled desk.

"No thank you I'm okay." I sit down on one of the leather seats.

"No problem, if you need anything just say okay? Don't be afraid to ask." He nods.

"Okay." I nervously nod back.

"Good. So first off let me introduce myself. I'm Dr. Kim Seokjin, you can call me Jin for short if you'd like. I'm head of the mental health department and have been for the past 4 years. Don't hold back on anything you say, I've heard everything you can possibly imagine so don't be afraid. My job is to help you in every possible way I can. Your mum mentioned to me on the phone you have distressing dreams? Is that correct?" He grabs his notepad and pen at the ready.

"Y-Yes that's correct." I look down at my hands.

"Hey, don't worry okay? I'm not here to judge you. I just want to help you. Could you tell me when this started happening?" He squiggles something on his pad.

"They started happening when I was young. I don't know exactly how old I was, but maybe around the age of 7 or 8?" I nod.

"Okay..... and has these dreams gotten worse as you've grown older or have they been at the same level?" He raises his eyebrow.

"Uhhhhhh.... they've gotten worse as I've gotten older I guess?" I look up and he nods his head as he continues to write.

"Have you met anyone from these dreams, or do you know the people who exist in them?" He looks up.

"The only person who I knew was my dad but.... Apart from that I don't know the people personally. However, 4 days ago I met 2 people who were in a previous and recent dream. And I'm afraid of whats going to happen now that we've met." I let out a shaky breath.

"I know it's hard for you because I can see your hands shaking, but could you in your own time explain to me what happened? You mentioned your dad, but you paused. Can I ask if he's still in the picture?" He grabs the box of tissues on his desk, standing up and sitting on the seat next to me.

".....He died some years ago."