You Had Me at Goodbye

The Someone Else

Chaeyoung said she changed a lot the last time they met when the woman visited her and her parents in Manchester. It was the second time Chaeyoung met her mother and the first time she met her father but it was as if they had known one another for ages. After all, Lisa expected that much from the woman. To Lisa, Chaeyoung has always been the same and it never ceases to amaze Lisa at how well her best friend can just easily get along with basically anyone.

Except for her, she reckons.

They were not always best friends. Sure, they immediately clicked the first time they met and there would not be a day they wanted to spend without the other—at least that was how it felt at that time, but to the ever so socially awkward Lisa, Chaeyoung was more only like the person she could tolerate at the time because she was too occupied with trying to survive in a foreign place and being self-conscious that she did not have the mind and focus to build a friendship with anyone—it was not like she ever knew how to in the first place. That was until Chaeyoung was gone for a week and she realised that she had found someone other than Khun whom she could be aware of; she was aware of Chaeyoung's absence and it affected her.

That was when she realised she had gotten a friend in the Australian.

Then love follows the friendship. When she first realised she had fallen for Chaeyoung, Lisa could only curse herself in her mind as she tried keeping the love growing in her heart bottled up. It was hard—to Lisa, loving Chaeyoung was hard. Well, to be fair, falling for Chaeyoung was probably one of the easiest things to do. Loving the woman, however, took all she was—between trying to always be available for the woman and maintaining her distance so as to not tainting whatever they already had at the time, it was hard for the surgeon. She felt much like tiptoeing and knowing Chaeyoung would never see her the way she did, did not help her deal with the overflowing feelings.

Then there is Jennie who comes after Chaeyoung.

It will not be fair if she must compare what she has for Chaeyoung to what she has for Jennie because she knows that what she had for each of the two was completely different things. Lisa never knows how easy it is to love someone to the extent where she finds herself failing to recall when she does not love them. Jennie walked into her life when she least expected it, took her by surprise, and by the time she realised, everything had taken its own rhythm.

She has always been loving Jennie.

The conversation they share as two completely different sets of minds and the vulnerabilities they face being haunted by different demons. Jennie is a force of nature—pulling her mercilessly that she might as well take the centre of the entire solar system and hand it over to Jennie, so the earth, the sun, and all the rest of the solar system will revolve around her instead. That way, the world may restore order.

But that is just scientifically impossible.

So instead, she just takes the pivot of her entire universe and hands it over to Jennie. And what do you know? Things start falling into their rightful places.

A set of knocks on her door snaps her out of her trance. Her mother has her own signature knocks so Lisa knows who it is on the other side of the door. It is the little thing they share; even after years, after so many things they have gone through, and after so many things that have changed between the two of them, that is probably one of the things that never changes.

"Are you feeling okay, Khon Di?"

A warm voice catches Lisa off-guard as her head follows where the voice comes from. Her mother has appeared from the other end of the door, looking at her with such a loving gaze. Things with her parents are getting steadier and the ground beneath them has found its firmer form. Lisa tries to open up more to her parents, they are living in the same space, after all, that is the least she can do.