You Had Me at Goodbye

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London, April 4th, 2024

Dearest Lisa,

I do not know where to start.

I wish I could bid you a proper goodbye as well but you did not let me. There are things I did not get to say—or rather, you did not allow me to, but I understand because if you let me, then where you go, I will go and where you stay, I will stay. And I know that is not what is best for the present us.

These past months after you left had been agonising, to say the least. There has not been a day when I do not think of you and wonder about you. I hope you find what you are looking for even if it means you must go away from me.

I do not know the best way to deal with all of this. So here I am writing for a letter you do not want me to reply and since this is supposed to be our form of honesty then here mine goes.

Lisa, I have lost the biggest part of me and I never thought that in this life I will find something so profound I can finally breathe again. That is until I met you.

Thank you for coming into my life.

You have always been enough for me, but you think you are not enough for us. So I have to let you go, so you can be yourself and I can be me. And yes, as you said, there were indeed words our mind fail to come up with, those that only our hearts could say and even if we could find the words, there would be no enough space for us to fit all those that were meant to say. So I will also keep it simple for you.

Lalisa Manoban, I love you too.

And as selfish as this sounds, Lisa, I hope life will eventually bring you back home to me once again. Because when the time comes, I will make sure you and I—we will be alright.

I wish for the day when once again our waves come to the same ocean, that we have finally found ourselves, so by then, I can finally tell you to give us a try once more and we will finally stay once and forever more.

'Till we meet again, Lisa.

Yours,

Jennie Kim

Ella puts the now tear-stained old worn-out piece of yellow paper back into a worn-out envelope she found in the second drawer of her Mother Lisa's study table. She smiles through her tears recalling her parents and recalling how three days ago, she found Jennie had fallen into her eternal sleep peacefully, sitting on her wheelchair in front of Lisa's headstone. She puts the letter back to where it belongs and takes the rest of the things Jennie has left in Lisa's and her house. As Ella stands before the front door she turns around to see her childhood house once again, eyes on a family picture of her and her two beloved mothers, and smiles contently.

"Welcome home, Mums."

F I N .