Insanity || Ongoing

5. Teddy bear

<Elise p.o.v>

I wake up in a knot. My face is stuffed into my pillow, but is this my pillow? This feels so unyielding and, wait, muscular? I push whatever is against me away but end up falling off the bed. It feels like a body, a HUMAN body. I contemplate looking up at the bed, scared to my bones. Who in the world was I just tangled to? Did I just...? Oh no!

"Wh-who are y-you?" I question the unknown in my bed.

The room is filled with a burst of thundering, deep laughter that vibrating through me. The laugh sounds familiar, and I suddenly remember the first time I heard it.

Green grass growing taller every day. It was almost reached my elbow, as I ran through it. I was running towards a tall apple tree marking the centre of our backyard. The apples were red, reflecting the sunlight, showing themselves off. I loved collecting these apples. As I reached the tree and tried to grab hold of an apple, I fell short. I jumped for so long I felt sweat drip off of me, or it could have just been the blazing sun. Just as I was about to give up, I heard a burst of unknown thundering laughter. Later, the owner shook the tree, helping me gather more apples than I could dream for.

"X-Xan?" I stammer as I clumsily stand up on my pastel yellow carpet that quite literally saved my ass. I look at him and then I look at him. He is shirtless. Clad in lilac pyjama bottoms and pretty much nothing else, he watches me scan him. He has a prominent lazy smirk on his face. His hair is a bush on his head, glowing golden. His hazel eyes are sparkling with humour and affection. 

"Shit, I think you wet your pants!" He exclaims.  I look down, but I know I haven't because I am not 5!

"Shut up! Gosh, just, Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" I huff out.

"Do you seriously not remember last night?"I crimson hard. Xan is losing his head laughing right now and it's getting on my last nerve. Nothing happened last night! I am pretty sure of it.

"Wh-what happened?"

"You were screaming, and I, being an amazing friend and the best bodyguard," cue my eyeroll, " came rushing in, all concerned, just to see you having a nightmare. Naturally, I wake you up and you jump and hug me all tight and you murmure something to me that I couldn't catch. And then, I slept over with you because you insisted sooooo-"

"Yeah okay, shut up, I get it. But this still doesn't explain why your shirt is on my lamp right now."

"Well your room is hot, but you were so cold that you were literally attached to me, so I just, you know, took it off." He is scratching the back of his head and looking at his feet, and watching him squirm is just lovely and I start laughing. 

"Enough! Gosh, today you are going to revise for tomorrow, okay? First day of school! Damn."

"Damn indeed."

+++

being the over planner I am, I end up having chosen an outfit, packed my bag, revised the syllabus of all my main subjects and planned how I am going to handle high school by dinner. I sit on my bed and breath. It is easy to get busy and forget about all your fears, but that doesn't mean your fears don't exist. I am a misfit, an outsider in what I hear is an accumulation of clans that have been stuffed in a building for eight hours in the name of education. 

Don't get me wrong, I all in for making new friends and trying new things but what ifs cloud my mind like a storm. What if they don't like me? what if they realise something is wrong with me? What if Elysium pulls me back in? What I lose my self and never come back? What if this switch turns back off and I lose my grip and smile? WHAT IF?