Insanity || Ongoing

18. Apple tree

Short chapter but next ones gonna be longggg.

KAI POV

I feel happy. I feel this bubble in my chest that sends warmth even to my cold tip-toes. This bubble feels so strong, not the like fleeting ones that appear when I hear Dai's voice. This one is stable.

As I sit here in El' bed with Zehr and El, I feel the toxic sting of hope. And I smile to myself. El's hand is in mine. Her head is on my shoulder.

We're waiting for a video to start. We're on Instagram waiting for a Live to start. The account is called MyEverexpandingWorld.

"She was the closest thing I had to a family at GREI. Her name's Celestine. She had a very rare disorder that caused her physical paralysis from like head down and cause her intellectual maturity to develop at a really fast rate." El informs us.

Zehr instantly enters her questioning mode. It's this thing she does where if anything intrigues her she'll go into a rapid-fire questioning question session and like not rest until she knows everything she wants to.

I barely pay attention to the rant. My eyes divert to her vanity, and what I see draws me in towards it. I unlock our fingers and walk up to the table and pick up a frame on it. It is a picture of what seems to be while back. El is on Xander's back. Her head is on his shoulder. Next to Xan stands another boy who looks a little younger than Xander, about El's age. They all look so happy standing on a green field with a huge apple tree.

"Who is this?" I ask pointing at the other boy.

"Oh, um, someone who-my-. It's just someone that doesn't matter anymore, okay?" She says, frustratedly. Something about this boy ticks her off, and I want to know what, but it probably isn't my place to pry.

I go back to my initial place next to her and intertwine our fingers again.

~~~

EL POV

Allen.

Ever since Kai asked me about him all these memories keep hitting me hard and it is so difficult to stop my spiralling thoughts. My first kiss, my first love, my first friend, my first almost everything. Almost. Suddenly I feel my face heat up. 

I have this sudden urge to find Allen. The way things ended burnt this hole in my heart that I still can't find a substitute for. I still don't have so many answers. 

I didn't even have a chance to ask any questions as right after everything went down because I was abruptly rushed off to GREI. 

I suddenly get up, shrugging Kai's hand off of mine and do the only thing that makes sense right now.

I go to the kitchen and call Xan. Yup, I freakidy call Xan. 

Ring. Ring. Ring... 

Each ring lasts an eternity and though I already know he won't pick up, I try. But then, I hear a voice.

"El?"

"Xan? Xan! oh, my god! You answered!"

"El are you okay?" The words he says are kind but he sounds wary. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where are you?"

"Around."

"Xan, I need your help."

"..."

"Xan, are you there?"

"What do you need?" 

"I know I am not allowed to know about this, though I have no clue why not, but Alle-"

"El, no."

"Xan, NO, hear me out. I need to know. I deserve to know. You may think I have forgotten, but I remember everything. Every single moment I shared with him. SHit like that doesn't just fade away, and now it's-it's eating me out! Please."

"...

Okay, I'm on my way."

I felt so many feelings. I was so excited to finally figure this out. But I have to meet Xan, which I want to so badly, but I don't know how to face him.

But the hardest part is going to be explaining all this to Kai and Zehr.

~~~

As I walk into my room, Kai and Zehr are laughing about something and I can't help but look at Kai. He is so beautiful it hurts. I do not want to hurt him but I want to do this for myself.

"Guys, we uh, need to talk."

~~~

The next chapter is gonna be a flashback which will start unravelling the real shit so yayy. I am hella excited for it and I hope you enjoyy