This chapter starts of so cheesy but ugh the second half was so hard to write, especially from a boys perspective. So yeahhhh.
POV EL
The next two weeks go by in a breeze. I have been too busy dodging Kai to realise the passage of time. I miss Kai terribly. Every time I see him my heart aches and I feel a weird dryness on my lips, but this has to be done. I don't know what else to do. I can't be 'just friends' with Kai. It's too late that now after two weeks of me being a super klutz. Dating him seems wrong. Xan is still not not a part of my life.
Zehr has pretty much moved in with me and Xan has practically moved out since it has been two weeks since I have seen or even heard from him.
POV KAI
The past few weeks have been the slowest in my life. El wouldn't talk to me, and Zehr would give me sympathetic looks and hang out with me but things are changing.
It hurts so bad. She made me feel alive in a world that made me a killer. She showed me the colours of the rainbows when all I thought myself capable of was darkness. And now she has left me behind in darkness again. I don't know how to go back to my old life because the way I feel about her will always be a weight on my shoulder, and the fiasco I created is just another of the Kai effect. Wherever I go I mess things up for myself and everyone around me. I should just stop, stop breathing.
Thoughts of ending everything have been orbiting my head for the past two weeks, as El drifted further and further away from me. Wow, a girl left him and he wants to end it. Just wow. You must be thinking. But these thoughts were always lingering in my head, shadowing all my decisions and actions. El just helped numb my hearing to these thoughts. But now the filter she helped create is gone with her, and so, they are back.
~~~
I enter Geography class and sit in my assigned seat, the one next to El. Sitting here is so bittersweet. It's where I first saw her, but it's also where I see her looking anywhere but at me.
She walks in after a few seconds and takes her seat, wearing a dark grey-yellow hoodie that says 'yee-haw' and lilac leggings. She looks beautiful. I look away for a second, overwhelmed but I can't stay this way for long and my eyes wander back to her. I know it's creepy, and I know she can sense me, as I see her consciously avoid my glance.
The teacher enters and I avert my gaze to the teacher.
"Okay, so class, now it's time to assign your assignments to the lot of you. This year you will be doing case studies on local locations. You will be in groups of three, and I will be deciding the groups," and everyone groans to that. "Yeah, okay, my decision is final. So let's start."
She randomly starts making groups according to seating arrangments, and I already know what's coming, so I instantly look at El. Her face is pale and for the first time, she looks at me. And instantly, I wish she didn't. The look in her eyes isn't of hatred but of something much worse. It is a look of fear. And my mind instantly goes back to the day my world crumbled. Her eyes blend in with his in my mind. I suddenly feel stifled in this classroom. I don't know what to do. I storm out of the classroom and I run.
~~~
EL POV
He ran away, away from me. But what hurts me the most is the hurt in his eyes after seeing me look at him. I don't understand. Was it my expression? But then it hits me. I was scared. And that scares him. Everything from that day in his room, the story he told me about his life comes back and I rush out of class looking for her with the teacher yelling in the background. I feel so guilty for everything that has gone down these four weeks. In four weeks, I have moved towns from an asylum, I got a boyfriend, I went low and got back up and I cheated on boyfriend in order for that.
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Insanity || Ongoing
Teen Fiction"There are so many things worth living for, and yet that one thing that makes you want to end it all overcomes all the good." "There are so many things that make you want to die, and yet that one thing worth living for overcomes all the bad." Two o...
