I didn't say that!

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter 13: Return of the Bad Boy

POV: Roman Julius

                                                                      "Bad habits stay hidden well                                                                                                                     

                                                                       but mine always come back.

                                                                          I don't want to hurt her,

                                                                           I won't hurt her ever." 

                                                                          ~ A Quote by me.

Her face was embedded in my mind as I sat on the seat of my motorcycle. I inhaled a deep breath of smoke as I puffed in the cigarette for the first time in a long time. Looking up at the stars I blew up releasing a gray cloud from my lungs, then without taking a time to breath I dragged in another intake. I always had done this to calm myself from intense situations. But I haven't been in one for a while, I've been calm headed. Ever since I started to write those love letters to her, everything has just been so right. I found myself more peaceful, more... amazing. She just pulled that out of me, she made that side come out. Even if I tired to force it back in, I couldn't. She willed it out.  The cigarette was almost to its end as I take in my final puff. The tart taste to my tongue was pleasing as it came to its end, but it was also disgusting. It made the taste of Jessica's lips leave my own.  As I breath out I look down and pinch the red lit end crushing it to stop the fire inside.

While tossing the cigarette butt  to the ground and crushing it the ball of my foot, I bit my lip and leaned back against the hard metal frame. Things were on my mind, and this wasn't good. Me having thinking room when I'm stressed was always a bad idea. I always cracked, I always had a over load because it gave me time to reflect and channel in the hate from before. I  shoudn't be back here on this mountain, parked so close to the edge of the rocky fall down, it would be just so easy to slip on the sandy grainy edges. It would be so easy to say it was a accident. I could hear it now, 'He slipped, the sand was too slick' no it would be I just wanted to die. 

I stepped forward off the bike, so I was mere inches away. I could already feel the sand under my feet sliding and moving in my disadvantage toward the edge. I took a deep breath as I took another step forward and looked down; the fall would be long; I was on the side where there was no rock underneath just a long dive down into the black ocean, which I bet was freezing. A shiver ran up my spine, I was scared out of my mind. But I closed my eyes, trying to not think about it. While I took another step towards the edge life suddenly flashed through my mind, like it was the future. What I could have...

"Daddy," a little girl yelled running to me. I couldn't help but smile at the title she used for me. I picked her up in my arms, she was small, she looked around three or four years old. She had brilliant black hair, with blazing blue eye's like Jessica's, with the dimples that I had on my cheeks, they pierced hers in the exact same place. " Daddy," She murmured burying her face in my neck and she clunged onto me wrapping her arms around me. The touch of her was so welcoming, and the thought of her being my own enlighted my heart.

"He can't save you young lady," said a familiar voice and I looked up to see who it was. Her jet-black hair flowed down to her waist, those eyes were beautiful they were big and a deep blue, her lips were a soft pink, and her smile brought warmth. However, the last part of her I saw had my heart skipping and beating dramatically, she had a swollen stomach that was about six maybe seven months pregnant. She walked over to me with the biggest smile on her face as she pushed back hair out of her  eyes. "Isn' t that right daddy? You won't can't save her." I was shocked, she just called me daddy and it sounded so right in a strange way.