secret lovesong

4

Rye

This morning I woke up very early. The sun was nearly risen, but the first birds had already started to sing. Although I'd drunken way too much last night I still remembered everything.

Why had I kissed him? What was wrong with me?

I turned and saw Andy laying next to me. Millions of different feelings hit me as I looked at him and my head was thumping . I had to get out of here. I had to get away from him!

Gently I tried to get out of bed without waking Andy. After I'd managed to do so, I pulled off my shirt, that smelled so much like him and searched for my trainers. Luckily I found them in my closet. I grabbed them and made it to leave the room without waking Andy up. I didn't want to talk to him right now. Because of the open window, the door slammed behind me and I cursed.

Damn.

I prayed for Andy to still be asleep. Quickly I moved down the stairs and left the house through the front door. And again the door slammed. What was wrong with the doors today?

I started running without looking back to the house, especially to my window, because I had the strange feeling Andy was standing there, watching me. I ran faster than ever and soon my side was starting to hurt.

But I enjoyed it. The pain distracted me from the endless thoughts that were running through my head. Thoughts about her, thoughts about Andy and our friendship, thoughts about last night.

I don't know how long I had been away, when I finally got back to the house. My stomach was rumbling, because I hadn't had breakfast yet, so I decided to take the quickest way through the garden directly into the kitchen.

I heard screaming and laughter as I walked around the house. "MIKEY, YOU CAN'T PLAY FOOTBALL WITH YOUR HANDS!!!". Oh, Brooklyn. Without any worries I walked around the corner and nearly got hit by a football. Before I even had the chance to react, Mikey sprinted towards the ball and tackled me down.

I knew it had been an accident but I got pissed. I didn't know if it was because of the small amount of sleep I got last night, if it was because of my banging head or my messed up feelings but I couldn't held myself from shouting at Mikey.

"CAN'T YOU JUST WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING? MATE, IT HURT!!!". Mikey looked at me, laying on the ground, the football pressed against his body. His eyes were wide open as he gave me a look of surprise. "Wow, someone got out of the wrong side of bed today.", he mumbled. I glared at him and bit my tongue as I swallowed all the bad things I wanted to shout at him.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I kept the air in my lungs until they started to burn. Then I exhaled again.

I opened my eyes and looked at Mikey, who was still laying on the ground in front of me. Suddenly a nasty feeling of guilt overwhelmed me. "Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't sleep that good last night. It's just so much going on right now. My mind's a little messy at the moment.", I apologized to Mikey with a softer voice. I reached out my hand for him to get up.

I could see Mikey's brain working. He gave me an odd look but finally grabbed my hand and I helped him up on his feet. "It's okay, mate. I saw the Instagram drama yesterday. I totally understand that you're in a bad mood right now. Just remember, we're on your side!". I smiled thankfully and gave him a hug. I was really glad, that these boys had became my family.

"And now I have to get on Brooks nerves again. He's in the perfect mood for that today!", said Mikey and ran towards the other boy who quickly got back the ball. Their laughter filled the air again and I couldn't help myself but smile. They were like my little brothers. I decided that breakfast could wait and sat down in the grass to watch the two boys for a while.

//

I heard Robbie's voice through the open windows of the kitchen. He was talking and laughing with someone and I heard water boiling on the stove. Due to the noises of boiling water and the unpacking of cornflakes, my stomach remembered me that I was hungry. That's why I eventually got up and decided to join the two people in the kitchen.

I opened the terrace door, that lead directly to the kitchen and entered the room. But I immediately froze as I saw the behind of a blond boy standing in the kitchen and talking to Robbie, who was currently sitting on the couch. The door behind me slammed again and I cursed under my breath. Andy turned around stared at me. He looked like a dear in the spolight of a car .

"GOOD MORNING BROTHER!!!", shouted Robbie as soon as he had seen me. Andy jumped a little at Robbie's outburst. "Morning!", I mumbled, lowering my eyes to the ground and walked closer to them.

I couldn't look into Andy's eyes. "Tea?", he asked and as I finally managed to look at him he smiled his friendly Andy smile. He was still Andy, my best mate!

The awkward tension in the room disappeared immediately. I started to grin and grabbed the mug he was reaching towards me. "Thank you.". Together we took some cereals and milk and sat down the table. We chatted a while with Robbie about coffins and vampires, but soon enough Robbie decided to go for a walk.

The awkward tension appeared again as soon as we were alone. "So...", Andy started. I looked up and my eyes met his. "Could you do me a favor?", he asked. My heart stopped for a second.

How much did he remember from last night? Would he ask me to never kiss him again? Would he ask me to avoid him? Or maybe to date him? Would he tell me to forget everything we did last night and just move on as if nothing ever happened? Would he...

"Could you never ever convince me to drink again, please?!", he continued. I couldn't stop myself from laughing a little. "I'd love do you that favor! My head hurts as hell", I answered. He smirked. "Don't ask me. My head is banging. I can nearly remember how we started to drink! I think I must have fallen asleep pretty early.". I looked at him.

Did he really not remember how I kissed him?

As I stared at him, I saw a little flicker in his eyes and somehow I knew that he was lying. But I decided to play along. "I don't know. I think we both fell asleep very quickly. We're really bad drinkers, aren't we?!", I said, adding a little fake laugh at the end. Andy joined my fake laughing and that was the moment I was convinced: he was lying as well!

But after that we moved on, stopped talking about last night, because sometimes it was better to stay quiet than to speak about it.

I mean, who knew how many people secretly were in love with each other but kept it quiet to let the world remain in order?

A/N

I often ask myself the question Rye's asking himself in the end.
Hope you like this chapter!

Lots of love xx