secret lovesong

12

Rye

My alarm rang pretty early the next day. I sighed as I turned around to turn it off. It was currently 6am and my whole body felt like it had been tortured the whole night. My head was hurting so bad and my eyes felt swollen and burning.

The picture of Andy and Mikey sitting together and talking about me flashed in my mind once again. A sharp pain cut deep in my heart. I trusted him! I loved him!

Heartbroken I forced myself out of the bed. A short glance on my phone showed me thousands of new likes and comments on my new picture. I opened Instagram and scrolled through the words of my fans.

Most of the comments were simple messages like "how was your day" and comments about how much the Roadies were loving me, my face and my eyes. It seemed like nobody had noticed my red swollen eyes and the sad story behind the picture. I kept on scrolling and my eyes caught a few comments, who were referring to a Shawn Mendes song, that described my mood pretty well.

"Laying on the bathroom floor, afraid to be alone again"

My mood dropped as soon as I saw the first Randy comments and I almost had a heartattack when I spotted the comment Andy had left below my picture:

"good eve"

How dare him to comment below my picture after he told Mikey everything about me. Why did he even commented and what did the comment mean? It was so random.

Angry, confused and hurt I threw my phone through the room again. I groaned in frustration and clenched my hands in my hair. After a while I finally got up and went to the bathroom. I finished showering just on time and went downstairs to grab something to eat.

Andy had cooked some scrambled eggs with bacon and beans. He stood behind the stove and gave me an insecure look. I faked a smile at the others and tried to ignore him and Mikey as best as I could. Without hesitating I sat next to Brook and together all of us finished breakfast.

It was 7.16 am when we finally started our vlog. We had driven to the studio to record today's two songs.

"Someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi" and "Bad Guy by Billie Eilish".

For the sake of the vlog and our viewers I kept up my fake good mood, but inside the song by Lewis Capaldi nearly killed me. My heart hurt with every line I sung and the lyrics cut deep like a knife. Once again my eyes found Andy, who was sitting next to the computers, watching me through the window in the wall and then it happened. Just as I was singing the lyrics to my part of the song, all the hidden emotions floated through my body and my voice cracked. Andy looked me deep into the eyes. I knew he knew what was wrong, but all he did was start laughing and showing my mistake to the vlog. I was fuming, but I laughed with him. I laughed with him, because I didn't want anyone to notice.

The rest of the day went pretty well. We recorded the songs and Robbie texted me, that he had found the perfect location for the "Someone you loved" music video. After we had finished studio and I'd taken a shower Robbie, Alex and myself went to the location to film my part of the cover, while the rest build up the film set up for "bad guy".

After we'd returned back to the house, we continued filming till the middle of the night. I managed to keep on my mask for the vlog, talked and laughed with Mikey and Andy, but on the inside I was screaming.

The only person who was able to cheer me up during the shoot was Brook. The later it got the more turned Brook into a hyper, annoying and crazy person, but I loved it. He made me laugh and distracted me from the whole situation that was going on with Andy and Mikey.