By Any Means

Chapter 10

Please excuse any mistakes.
Enjoy!

Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Daddy shark!
Grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Grandma shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
Grandma shark!

I heard the new song every little kid is going crazy over right now especially Bree. I rang the bell out of respect since my mother thinks I should only use my spare key to her house for emergencies only.

My mom opened the door with Ciara right by her side. Ciara jumped on me to give me a big hug and kiss on the cheek. I swear she's the only reason I smile these days. My mother let out a sigh of relief and mumbled something under her breath. Ci Ci always got her way with my mom, shit she was spoiled by everyone. I could only imagine what she managed to get my mom to buy her and do while they were together. I guess being the first grandchild and only child on both sides had its perks because nobody could say no to her and if we even thought about it all she had to do was pout.

"What are you guys in here doing?'' I asked them once I entered my mom's three bedroom home.

"Whew chile this girl got me in here doing some dance about a shark. I ain't old yet but I'm not in no shape to be shaking and twisting like these lil kids. I'm still out of breath." She explained while sitting at the kitchen table.

I swear I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

I turned my attention to Ciara who was occupied with my phone taking pictures of all of us. Just like her mom. "How about daddy's princess? You miss me?"

"Mmmhmm. I sleepy daddy, I up early today."

"Okay go to your room and take a nap. After your nap we can all go to the park." I told her while I took my phone so, she could make her way to her room.
I turned my attention back to my mom who was staring at me.

"Want a picture?" I asked after a few seconds of watching her.

"Boy bye."

"Mom I been meaning to talk to you about some shit that has been weighing on my mind real heavy." I said while playing with my keys to calm my nerves.

She blew out a breath she must've been holding once she realized my slight change in tone "Go ahead I'm listening."

"Why are we like this? Why don't we have the typical mother and son relationship? It wasn't always like this. You treat me like.. Man I don't even know but this has been happening for a while now." I could feel the headache coming on as I tried to express myself to my mother. I quickly ran my hand down my face to get myself together.

"Son it wasn't always like this. I don't know where I've gone wrong with you these last couple of years. You have become a completely different person and might I say this new you is disgusting. Putting your hands on women?" She shook her head and looked up trying not to cry.

"I-" I began to say before I was cut off.

"And I am not finished." she chuckled however she obviously wasn't joking or in a laughing mood  "Oh yeah..you think I don't know about you being a drug dealer? Running around here with these other dummies who carry thousands of dollars with no job? Carrying guns without a license to do so? You started this little rebellious stage years ago and no matter how hard I tried to buy you things to stop your bullshit or talk to you nothing worked. You're just becoming an exact replica of your deadbeat ass father. Selfish and inconsiderate. You don't think about anyone else. All the bad that you out there doing while you trapping or whatever yall call it leads you 6 feet under or in jail. Then what are we supposed to Ciara? You are the reason we have drifted apart. You are truly your father's child" she was crying her eyes out at this point.

I now understand why we have drifted apart. Apparently I was reminding her of my sperm donor. I cant even call that man a father he has done nothing for me and wanted nothing to do with me from the beginning. I honestly never realized but now I understand. Not only do I look like this man but my actions have been quite similar to his. I hit an important woman in my life, he hit an important woman in his life. That person being my mom. I'm out here risking my life with this drug game and he's still considered one of the biggest kingpins in our town. But how could I stop now when I'm nowhere near where I want to be? I could easily go talk to him since he's not hard to find but I'd feel like I'm betraying my mom. But if I were to go have a conversation with him and we put all the negativity behind us we could probably mend our relationship since I'm grown now. Then I'd really have all the money I would ever need. Money is the solution to all of my problems.

"Mom I'm sorry about everything. I have been acting crazy out here these past couple years and it was just a cry for attention but you and I both know I'm not the type of person to ask for help or talk about my problems. I just didn't like you out here working two jobs to provide which is why I did what I did. But don't even worry about it I'm done with all of that. I just wanna fix us, have that mother-son bond that everyone else has." I told her although I wasn't being completely honest I genuinely wanted to fix our relationship.

"Don't just feed me lies or something you think I wanna hear. Show me." She said while getting up to give me a hug.

"Your still my son at the end of the day and I love you no matter what. Just take everything I said into consideration and stop all of this nonsense before you get in too deep. Money isn't everything son. Your alive and healthy so you shouldn't have any trouble getting a real job. Shit everybody knows how to clean be a janitor if you have to that little girl will have whatever she needs regardless as long as I'm alive. Just get your shit together if not for you or for me, do it for her. Please."

"I will. I love you too ma." I said getting up to go watch tv until Ci Ci wakes up then we'll go start our day.

After this stunt I pull I'll probably be out of the game for good. Ciara and I will live comfortably. My mothers more than welcome to come with us if she wants but I'm quite sure she'll be fine on her own, she's always been independent. If my plan goes the right way she won't even have to work again unless she want to. Everyone that crossed me will feel my wraith in due time.

                                              .....

"Asia I'm kid free and I finished all my assignments, where we going?" I asked my best friend while twerking in my seat.

"Well whenever you done shaking your back we can head to that club that opened last weekend. We definitely gotta celebrate because you know I don't do the sentimental shit but I'm so happy for you. You doing good with Ciara, taking care of your parents and Jayda financially when necessary, you even enrolled in school full time. All those assignments get done even when you tired from everything else you got going on.My best friend and soon to be business partner is out here making major moves these hoes ain't ready for what you got in store. You still got your fake ID?" She briefly looked up from her phone to see the worried looked I had spread across my face. I really needed to work on my facial expressions. You wanna know how I'm really feeling the look on my face will tell you. In the mist of her telling me how happy she was I was still stuck on her wanting to go to that new club.

"Thanks boo. I wouldn't be here without you, you're always motivating me to be better and I still got that ID. But the real question is do I wanna go to that club. That club is owned by Anthony." I swallowed the lump in my throat even though my mouth was so dry. My eyes started to water just thinking about him and everything I did to him.

"Oh shit. How could I forget we definitely can't go there..like eve-" Asia continued to talk while I began to have flashbacks of that horrific night. Before I knew it I blacked out and Asia was screaming my name but her voice seemed to fade as everything around me grew even darker.