After the One: A Connected Selection Series

Shadows

Mary opened the curtains in my new princess suite. Dust flew off of them, since no one had slept in here since Queen Amberly was my age, and there was no one to renovate the quiet suite. Sun streamed in the window, and it was warmer than it had been all winter. That wasn't saying much, since it was January 1st. It had been a few days since the attack. The attack that had stolen the king, queen, and Celeste's lives, along with countless others. The attack that almost stole Maxon from me. And today, we would mourn for the deceased king and queen. I rose from the bed to hear water running in the bathroom, with rose petals being thrown in, curtosy of Mary. She gave me a faint smile as I climbed into the tub, radiating floral scents.

"Good morning, Mary. Lovely day."

She nodded. "Yes, Your Highness."

She didn't say anything after that. I couldn't tell what was running through her head. She dressed me in a long, black dress with lace sleeves, similar to the ones we wore when Marlee was caned. My hair was done in a tight bun and no jewelry adorened my head or neck.

I sat on my balcony and enjoyed the sun before I would be surrounded by people who I didn't know, kissing me on the cheek, saying how sorry they were for me. Surrounded by people straining for a look at Maxon when I already knew he didn't want to see anyone.

Breakfast was brought to me and I nibbled on pastry before Mary told me it was time to go to the church. Three maids met me at the door and put me into a black car alone, and drove me through downtown Angeles. It was a quiet ride. When I reached the doors of the church, two guards opened the doors, and two more stood in the hallway. I walked down the hall to a place of Angeles I had never been to before. I entered the church and was amazed by its towering ceilings with beautiful artwork on it, and walls with carved pillars in it. Today, they were draped with sheer black fabric. Vases with white roses lined the walls and altar, and each wooden pew had black and purple fabric on the outside.

Maxon was at the front of the church alone, looking at the closed coffins that held his parents' remains. I walked up behind him and touched his shoulder, which made him jump. He turned around and looked at me, with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. I reached up and brushed his tears away. His chin quivered and he hugged me tight. I could feel him shaking, and I just stroked his hair. What else could I do?

He finally let go and looked at me. "I'm all alone, America."

I looked deep into his eyes. "You have me, Maxon. I'm your family now." All he could do was give me a weak smile.

I took his hand and we walked around the church before everyone came in. "This is beautiful, Maxon. Why haven't I been here before?"

"I thought the first time you could see it would be our wedding day." I had to smile at that. "When had you figured that out?"

"When you kneed me in the groin," he joked. I gave a quiet laugh. We walked around in silence before Maxon spoke up.

"They want you to speak today."

"What? Why me? I barely knew your parents. I barely talked to them."

"All the same, darling, they want you to talk."

I huffed. "Why not you?"

Maxon gulped, most likely holding back tears. "I don't think I can speak, America," he said, releasing a shuddering breath. "Please?" His eyes looked so desperate.

"Okay."

"Thank you. It means a lot. The press will love having you speak, too."

I kissed his cheek. "Of course."

-

Before I knew it, young men with cameras and old ladies wearing too much perfume had flooded the church. Girls from the Selection had returned and were sitting in reserved rows off to the side. Maxon and I sat together at the front, and Gavril was on the altar with the pastor, and they were discussing the ceremony. I held Maxon's hand tighter as people inched closer and closer to us, people that neither of us wanted to talk to.

After what seemed like hours, the priest invited me to the podium. My hands shook as I stepped up to speak.

I looked out at the crowd. Hundreds of people dressed in black sat in the rows. I swallowed once before beginning.

"Good morning," I said shakily.

"When I began my time here in Angeles a few short months ago, I never imagined that I would be here today." Cameras flashed and people sniffed. I forced myself to continue. "I never thought I would be attending a funeral for the king and queen, much less a funeral at all." I released a shaky breath of my own. "I remember, as a young girl, watching the king and queen on television and wondering what their lives were like. Being involved in the Selection was quite possibly the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Without it, I would have never gotten to know our incredible monarchs. I never would have seen how hard they worked behind the scenes. My eyes have been opened. Knowing what I know now, I understand how much they loved their country and its citizens. They are more than their personas on TV." I paused, looking over at Maxon, his head hung, and hands folded in his lap. I looked at the other Selected; some were crying, some were pale and staring off, others holding each other. Don't cry, America, I thought. Do this for Maxon.

"When I was near the king and queen, it was always a special occasion. Whether we were eating dinner or watching the Report, it was a treasure to be near them. The king, brave and strong beside his beautiful, loving wife. A father who wanted to have his son make Illea the best it could be, and a mother longing for her son to be the best he could be. These two people were meant to be together from the moment they were born, and they are now resting in peace. I hope they are proud of what their son has become, and I hope they are pleased with their new daughter."

There were many sniffs, but it was quiet. I went to sit down with Maxon, and there were more tears in his eyes from when I first came to him. "How did I do?" I whispered. All he could do was nod and squeeze my hand.

-

After what felt like hours, I finally returned to my room. I requested to have dinner in there, and I put my nightgown on to eat on my balcony, hoping to relax after such a heavy day.

There was a knock at the door, and Maxon entered. He had a tray with him and came to sit on my balcony with me.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all."

We sat and ate in silence and watched the sun go down.

"America, your speech was beautiful." he said.

"Really? I felt like it lacked luster." Maxon shrugged.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked. He nodded. "I suppose. I don't believe one ever really recovers from something like this." I sighed, finishing the last of my chocolate cake.

"I know how you feel."

Mary took our platters from us as we sat on the balcony in silence. I stood up and walked towards the balcony to watch the sun set on this dreadful day. Tomorrow would be better. The next would be too. It would all be okay. Maxon stood up and joined me. I leaned into him, and he held me as the sun went down.

"I love you, America."

"I love you too, Maxon."

Then, he kissed me as if he never would again.