Dear Evan Hansen 2

Anxiety

Evans POV:
I pulled into my driveway thinking about if I wanted to order food or not. I've been working on this whole talking to people thing and I can do it sometimes like at work for example, when someone comes to the cash register I say "thank you for shopping at pottery barn. Did you find everything you were looking for?" And then they usually say no and then I say "okay good" and then I put everything in bags tell them their total and then say "have a good day" and that's all I've rehearsed it enough times it comes naturally now but ordering food, it's just something I'm not good at the whole awkward encounter at the door with the change. Just better avoided.

Zoe POV:
I lay on my bed with my papers spread out in front of me but I can't get myself to focus I had way too much on my mind to possibly study. I just couldn't get Evans face out of my head. I mean before tonight it's not like I didn't think of Evan, I always liked to imagine him and my brother at the orchard looking at the trees and laughing and smiling and having a good time even though I know it wasn't a real story it makes me feel some relief believing it anyways. I also sometimes had dreams about Evan, sometimes even nightmares. The dreams usually consisted of some of the nights we would spend together at my place during the incident, and the nightmares, well, they usually were of the day I sat at the kitchen table my parents yelling, I'm yelling, Evan watching then Evan yelling it was him, him who wrote the note 'dead Evan Hansen'. But right now those thoughts in my head they weren't like that right now I wanted Evan to look at me the way he used to and give me the awkward nervous smile he did and tell me that everything is okay and that he's here and I just want him here.

Evan POV:
I decided on the who knows how old dumplings that were in the freezer and I mean they tasted okay so I'd say this is a win.

TEXT FROM JARED;
"What up loser! Wanna take a break from mastrubating and text me back😏"
EVAN:
"Jared I'm going to kill you. Call me."

I rolled my eyes, classic jared for you.

Incoming call from Jared

"Hey man. You done yet?" Jared managed to say through laughter.
"Dude shut up you know I wasn't mastru—"
"Yeah yeah Hansen. You're secret is safe with me"
"I meant to text you earlier but today I went to the orchard finally, met Zoe Murphy there and I...um...I...I..."
"Common Evan. Worddddsss."
" I don't know Jared I just..I just wish I met her now instead of... you know...like then"
"Really you still aren't over her?"
"I swear I thought I was but then..then I saw her, saw her smile and the scribbled stars on the cuffs of her jeans."
"Right forgot you're all, what's the word, kinky?, kinky for her smile" he laughed thinking he's hilarious. I swear kinky is his favourite word.
"I don't even know why I'm telling you this, I should probably go my dinners getting cold."
"Alright whatever Hansen, I'll text you are something tomorrow."
"Bye Jared."
Call ended

I went into my room and dug through a drawer till I found my anxiety meds, I took a pill and sighed with relief. How is it possible Zoe Murphy is still making me anxious even when we have nothing to do with each other.