Friends With Benefits (Complete)

Girlfriend? How About Trust Issues?

Girlfriend? Girlfriend?Girlfriend? Girlfriend?Girlfriend? Girlfriend?Girlfriend? Girlfriend?Girlfriend? Girlfriend?Girlfriend? Girlfriend?Girlfriend? Girlfriend?Girlfriend? Girlfriend?

Those same words repeatedly went around in my head about 100 times. I didn't know what to say. I know I love him, and I know he loves me, there is no doubt about that. It's whether or not I can trust him. People change, and he proved that 3 months ago. I know he doesn't want to hurt me. Even though he did, and he did it well too. 

What he said to me a few weeks ago, broke my heart into 1000 pieces and now my heart is trying to build a wall around its self to stay protected from him trying to hut me again. Getting hurt by somebody you love, it hurts. Especially when it is somebody you have given everything to.

When he stopped talking to me, I felt as if he used me. Like he used me for sex, and as soon as I got pregnant he dipped. So I hated him for that, but I was also in love with him and for the first month. I was ready to accept him back into my heart if he wanted to come and be a father figure to our unborn child. 

The first 3 months were the hardest. I had read up on all kinds of things. The thing I was most worried about was having a miscarriage, especially since all of the stress of college and the father of my child hating me to the core.

And once the 2nd month passed, I soon learned how to do things on my own. I learned how to live without him. I slowly fell out of love with him after I had finally noticed that he wasn't coming back. It most got to me when I saw Logan and Kaylee making out. That's what broke my heart the most.

Knowing that while I am 2 months pregnant with his first child, he is off with another woman. But on the other hand, I also believed that he was screwing her, mostly because our friends with benefits were over and he had no reason to keep his part of the deal up, which was to not sleep with other girls.

But after hearing that he never slept with another girl, it made me happy. Knowing that he cared enough about me to not sleep with Kaylee. I don't doubt for a sec that they had done other stuff. Maybe she even gave him a blow job. And maybe I'll choose to ask him that later, but right now is not the time. I first need to answer his most important question. 

Whether or not I should say yes to being his girlfriend. I know that I should automatically say yes. But here's the issue. After he broke my heart and left me pregnant, I gained a hell of a lot of trust issues. Not wanting to believe what anybody had told me or promised me. I was now stuck on the decision of if I can trust him or not.

But I should trust him because he is my best friend. No, let me rephrase that. Cause that sentence isn't true. The day he left me, we stopped being best friends. We stopped being friends in general. 

So after thinking that now, I know that it will be harder to trust him. There is also the possibility that he might cheat on me. I mean he has cheated on other girls. So why wouldn't he cheat on me? Even if I am pregnant with his child. What's stopping him? Nothing stopped him from leaving me...

I took a deep breath. I looked him in the eyes that were filled with happiness. But the longer I waited to answer him, the more it went away. I tried to open my mouth and say something. But nothing came out. My mouth was open, but no noise was coming out. "I'm so fucking stupid." He mumbled to himself.

As soon as he said it, it gave me the voice to eventually say something. "Logan, I love you. I really do. But I don't think I have enough trust built up to trust you not to break my heart again. I want you in this babies life, of course, Id o. I want you in MY life as well. But I don't think we should date. At least for now." I said. 

"I love you too Aria. And I understand why you chose to not accept." Logans said. I looked over to him and smiled. "I know that we have our differences. I know we do. And I want to talk more, especially about the baby. I want you to be more involved in his or her life. Cause I need you in this." I said. Logan gave me a small smile. He nodded. "So, where to start?" He asked dme.

"I guess let's start with the simple stuff. Now let's totally assume that somewhere in the future we are together." I said and Logan's eyes lit up. "I said assume Logan. Please don't get your hopes up. I know you want to date me, and I want to date you. But the whole trust thing is a huge barrier." I said and the light from Logan's eyes slowly disappeared. 

"Sorry." He said looking at the ground. "Back to what I was saying. We can't stay at college. I mean for our education we can. But we need to move. We can't raise our baby in the college dorms. And I doubt they would let us share a room. And there is absolutely no space here either, so it wouldn't be the most comfortable." I mentioned.

"I might have a solution," Logan said.

I looked at him. "And what would that be?" I asked him.

"We could find an apartment, I mean there is a huge apartment complex not even 10 minutes away from the campus," Logan said.

"That's a good idea, but we can't afford that," I said.

"We will if we ask our parents," Logan said.

"I haven't told my parents yet Logan," I said. I rubbed my belly another time. "You haven't told your parents?!" Logan said slightly raising his voice.

"There just wasn't' the right time Logan! You weren't there for me! What was I suppose to do?! Tell them that you got me pregnant and that you decided not to be a father and that you left me!" I said raising my voice just as he did.

"Let's both calm down. So, before we do anything else. We need to tell our parents." Logan said. And I nodded.

Shit is about to go down...