Friends With Benefits (Complete)

Dr.Mansfield

No, I can't do this. I can't go with the doctor and talk about my so-called feelings. Not alone. I needed Logan. I shook my head no to the doctor letting her know that I didn't want to go.

"Please Aria. I need you to go and talk to me, it's important. We all need to discuss our issues. And right now this is just going to be a one on one session between me and you. And maybe we can discuss something that is going on with you." Dr.Mansfield said.

"No, I can't do that. I can't go with you." I said quickly. "Aria, if you want to get out of here as soon as possible. You need to do as we say." Dr.Mansfield said. I looked at Logan. I was about to break down. I didn't want to leave him.

I know that I was going to break down with the doctor. And I really don't want to be alone without him. "Aria, please follow me." She said as she stood up and walked toward me. "Can Logan come?" I asked her.

"What would be the point?" She asked me. "I don't feel comfortable talking about anything without him. Please." I begged her.

"Look, let me get you alone for 5 minutes, then the rest of the time Logan can be there," Dr.Mansfield asked me. I looked over to Logan who nodded. "I promise," she said and gave me a small smile.

I nodded okay to the doctor and I followed her to her office with Logan on right behind me. Dr.Mansfield let me inside and told Logan to wait outside of the office and that she would call him in when the 5 minutes are over.

Once we both sat down she grabbed her phone and put a timer on for 5 minutes and put it in front of me. "5 minutes, just like I promise. Now, I have a few questions for you. I want you to answer them as honestly as you can. And if you are too upset to answer it, please tell me. I don't want to pressure you to answer something you are uncomfortable with."

"I just need to find a way to help you, so when the 2 weeks are up, I can feel good about sending you on your way and not worry that you are going to try and kill yourself again." She explained.

I nodded looking at her. "Now, tell me. Why were you so connected with baby Kayden?" she asked me as she started the timer. I took in a big deep breath which helped me calm down.

"When I got pregnant, Logan left me. And Logan was my person. He was the only thing I had left in the world. My real father left me a long time ago, and my mother and I have been on terrible terms. Maybe I use to lie to myself saying that her and I were good, but it's not true. I've always hated her, no matter how many times I lie to myself. It never becomes true. " I started off saying.

"But, for the first 3 months, it was only me and Kayden. He was the only person I had left in this world. He was supposed to be my person. But, during that time I was still going to college. And it really sucked because Logan and his friends started to bully me. Usually calling me a whore or a slut. Whichever suited me best. At first, it hurt to hear those words coming out of his mouth."

"But I got over it. The words just became numb hits to me." I said.

"What was the harshest thing he said to you? And what did you do after?" Dr.Mansfield asked me.

"This was a little before everybody found out that it was Logan's baby, but he called the baby a runt, and then said he hoped it died," I said now tearing up.

"It sucks now to think about that. I don't think he even remembers saying that, but he did! It hurt so much to hear him say that and to now think about it. When he said that to me, I slapped him and called him a monster before running out of the cafeteria."

"He called your baby a runt? And that he hoped it died? Did he know at the time it was his baby? Or did he assumed it was somebody else's?" Dr. Mansfield asked me. I shook my head no.

"He knew that it was his baby, but he didn't want to be a father to it. He was upset with me, even though right before I find out I was pregnant, he promised me that he would never leave me. He did exactly thing that he said he wouldn't, he broke my heart into a million pieces. Even though he hurt me, I never want him to remember what he said. I know that would destroy him. And he might feel like he has to blame himself, which is what I don't want. Things are hard enough as it is right now, I blame myself, Logan blames himself, we both do. Even though, as the doctor said, it was neither of our faults. Things just like that happen. Even though the doctor told us that, it's still hard to believe. Somewhere in my brain, I still think that I could've saved Kayden." I said. And Dr. Mansfield nodded.

"Look, Aria. I know what you're going through is hard. And I may have not have gone through it. But I've lost somebody too. And I know, that losing a baby so young, and losing a family member is completely different. You at your age shouldn't be going through that. And the reason you're here is so that we can help you. Both you and Logan. We want you to go out to the world, after this and think that it wasn't your fault. And to never blame yourself again. Because if you do, it's really likely that you guys will try to commit suicide again. And that is what we don't want."

" I understand that, and right now at the way I'm feeling, I have no reason to kill myself. I know for the next few years, I'm going to be very depressed. Mostly because I lost my son, and any woman in the world who loses their child, if you were in the right mind, it's very likely that you'll be depressed. But I have Logan, and he means a lot to me. I'm going to be very close with him these next years because he reminds me so much of Kayden. I do hope I can get out of here as soon as possible. I wanna get back to my life, I wanna get back to college. I wanna be back with my family, even though we're not at the best right now." I said and Dr. Mansfield nodded.

" I get that Aria, I do. But as I said, the least that you have to stay here is for two weeks. It's only the first two days. This behavior has to continue. And if it doesn't, and we believe that you may be getting too depressed and suicidal then we will have to keep you here longer. Even if we let Logan go. Which now after our session we will have to evaluate him as well." Dr. Mansfield mentioned. I nodded.

I looked over the clock and it was now at the timer where Logan should come in. Dr. Mansfield looked at the phone which had the time on it and she nodded. I stood up from the chair and walked over to the door opening and allowing for Logan to come in. He looked me straight in the eye see if anything was wrong, and nothing was. I gave him a small smile before he hugged me slightly.

" are you OK?" Logan whisper asked me. I nodded my head. Logan and I walked over to the seats and we both sat down. Dr. Mansfield didn't say anything as we just looked at her. After staring at each other for about 30 seconds, she finally spoke up.

" so, how are things going last night? Did you guys sleep well?" Dr. Mansfield asked us.

" The best we could, the beds are hard, and I'm not used to sleeping alone. I and Logan were sharing the bed for a few years. Ever since we moved to college, it was easier. I mean I know we're in the same room, but it is a bit different. I hate the idea of not being to leave whenever I want. It feels a little uncomfortable here, but over the next few days, I feel like I will get used to it." I stated.

"That's great! I am hoping to see you guys tomorrow and Logan me and you will have a one on one session tomorrow." Dr.Mansfield said. "Until then you guys are able to go back and join the others." She said smiling.

Dear Readers,

the next chapter will be a bit of a catch-up chapter. Aria and Logan will be leaving the hospital but a good portion of the chapter they will be explaining what happened but not into great detail. I do want this book to move along pretty quickly!