cherry wine [cashton]

forever going with the flow

TW: depression

-

Ashton was lying in his bed just staring at the ceiling. This happened a lot recently. Sometimes he could just stare into space for forever, until someone interrupted him. It should scare him, but he couldn't really find it in himself to care.

He was suddenly dragged out of his muddy thoughts, when he heard the door to his room creak open.

He just assumed it was his mom, who finally had decided to apologize, so he kept staring upwards.

A weight was added to the left side of his mattress, and he felt a body lie down next to him.

"I've been calling your phone for hours."

The almost deafening silence had been broken, and Ashton finally turned his head. He recognized his best friend's dark hair, but he didn't reply. He couldn't muster the energy at the moment.

"What happened to your eye?" Calum asked, his brows knit together in a frown. He left his hand up to touch the bruise, but Ashton flinched away.

A soft look replaced the frown on Calum's face.

"I ran into a door," Ashton finally breathed out, displeased with having to talk about it yet again. But secretly he was happy about the company.

"Bullshit," Calum blurted in reply. Ashton closed his eyes to avoid his gaze and swallowed.

When he didn't say anything, Calum decided to continue: "I've been so worried about you lately.

"Your mother was out of her mind, when I arrived. We worry about you, Ash. Please just tell us, if there's something wrong. Tell me. "

Calum was now sitting up on the bed, looking straight at Ashton, who finally opened his eyes.

"I said, I ran into a door," he stubbornly replied.

Calum's jaw clenched in frustration and anger. For a minute Ashton was scared of him. Calum noticed this and unclenched his jaw, a soft look immediately replacing the hardness. "I'm not mad at you. I could never be, I'm just frustrated. "

"Frustrated at what? I'm just telling the truth, if you don't like it: leave!"

Underneath his frustration Ashton knew, that he was just trying to help him. The last thing he wanted was to push Calum away. But he didn't like, how he doubted him.

"I'm not just gonna leave you. But if it really was just the door, you shouldn't get so upset over it," Calum tried to reason.

"I know, I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's okay," he said and then they were embracing each other. Ashton buried his face in Calum's shirt and inhaled his scent. Calum's hugs always calmed him down and put him in a better mood.

They had been best friends, ever since they could walk.

They had attended the same kindergarten and just followed each other ever since. When they started school, they joined forces with Michael and Luke. That's how their little four clover was formed.

When they ended the hug, they laid down next to each other. Calum was on his side, turning towards Ashton, and he had his arm around his middle. Even when Ashton fell asleep, Calum couldn't take his eyes off him.

It was like he was quicksand. Calum was just skin and bones going with the flow, but Ashton was like friction. He didn't know how long he had been feelings these strong feelings for his best friend, but when he was him with Jim, he couldn't help, but feel, he deserved something better. Something bigger. Not just an older guy with a fulltime job, who couldn't spare Ashton an hour of his day. But someone who would actually be there for him and listen to him. His heart skipped a beat at this realization. 

Finally, Calum couldn't keep his eyes open anymore and fell asleep next to his best friend.