cherry wine [cashton]

my heart hurts so good

Calum hovered above Ashton, whose head rested between the other man's elbows.

Their lips were so close that they could feel each other's breath. They were staring softly at each other, enjoying the moment. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of their breathing.

Sometimes Calum would find himself lost in Ashton's eyes. He couldn't decide if it was a choice, getting swept away by his best friend like this. But no matter the reason, he didn't mind it at all.

They were so close that they were out of focus to each other. Calum leaned in closer, his arms shaking a bit from holding himself up, but he kept the position until the gravity slowly came to much.

He remembered his physics teacher explaining their class how Newton had discovered gravity when an apple fell on his head. The class had laughed at the silly tale, but in this moment Calum gained a new appreciation for the forces of nature. The forces of nature that had led him to meeting Ashton all those years ago. Those who now led him to slowly capture the other man's lips against his. Ashton was the apple, lips so sweet, awakening realizations upon realizations in Calum.

In many ways Ashton was his first. His first best friend. His first crush. He was the person who was there when he had his first beer and his first cigarette, along with his first hangover the morning after. And even though Ashton wasn't his first kiss, he had still been there, encouraging him through all his anxiety and expectations for it. What Ashton hadn't known, was how Calum had closed his eyes, imagining the person, he kissed was someone else. He didn't know about the disappointment Calum had felt when he opened his eyes and was met by green instead of hazel eyes. In this way, Ashton had also been Calum's first secret. A secret so precious he never voiced out loud or even thought dare dream about too much, afraid of the crushing reality of shattered hopes.

But in this moment Calum felt freer than he had in a long time. His secret was out in the open. And he knew Ashton felt the same.

Maybe Ashton hadn't been hiding the same feelings that a young Calum had developed. Maybe it had taken him a little bit longer figuring himself out. Growing up without a father, taking care of his mother, his priorities had simply been different from a young age. He had never stopped too long to question his feelings or desires and when Jim had come along everything had been different. But in this case different hadn't only been good.

Now Ashton felt free in a new way. He was free to love Calum, but also to love himself. He knew who Calum was to him and those around him. How he cared too much and wouldn't hurt a fly. And as Ashton closed his eyes and returned the kiss, the dust in his stomach turned to butterflies.

-

In the end it took Ashton a lot of therapy.

Calum had been careful around him in the start, afraid that he was going to break any minute. But when Ashton had proved to be stronger than ever, he had immediately gone back to treating him like he normally would.

Ashton would spend more time with his friends now. Movie nights with Calum, Luke and Michael where they would watch stupid romcoms and laugh about any corniness and clichés. During these nights Ashton would find himself wrapped up in Calum's arms without a worry in the world besides how on earth the stupid main characters were ever going to fall for each other. The Proposal had in particular caused a lot of frustration to him, whilst Calum had simply laughed at his worries. In the end they got together, after all.

Some nights were harder than others. Jim was sentenced to prison and the judges had granted him a restraining order in case of an earlier release. It looked like Ashton could look forward to a Jim-free future.

But for a long time, he would wake up from nightmares, his lungs screaming for air. Phantom hands would wrap around his throat in the A.M. and blue eyes appeared when he closed his eyes. But Calum was there with his soft brown eyes and worried bushy brows. He would hold Ashton carefully in his arms as he stroked his fingers through his curls, telling him stories about his vacation to Bali, old birthday parties and movies he had seen. Ashton would curl against his body, listening intently, as his breathing slowly calmed down.

Slowly Ashton's nightmare where replaced both literally and metaphorically with dreams for his future. He started seeing a future that didn't involve blue eyes in dark alleys, bruises littering his body and the sweet cherry wine, he had come to know.

The cherry wine had been addictive in the start, but Calum helped him through his 'rehab'. And he would forever be grateful. Even when he would furrow his brow during long drives and ask Calum why he even was with him. It was in these moments that Calum would park the car and send him a look so indescribable yet so lovingly that it made Ashton lose his breath.

And in these moments Ashton realized that he was undoubtably, unquestionably, indisputable in love with his best friend. 

- 

AN: so this was the last chapter of Cherry Wine! Thank you so much for reading it and commenting! It really means a lot to me!

This is the first fanfiction I've written since like 2013 so I've been really rusty and it could've been much better, and I don't normally write in English, so :/ But I still have other fics in the work (Light My Candle!!), but I felt like this was a good practice for me to get back into it again

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! See you in another story soon, hopefully!