Arrangement Of Love

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I sit at the bar with Gemma and see Juan on the other side of the room showing the ultrasound pictures off to everyone. "He sure looks happy." Gemma says. "Yeah, he is. As soon as I told him I thought I was pregnant, he told me we would go see Tara." I say. She looks at me for a minute and asked "You happy about this?" I look at her and say "I really am." I tell her. "But." she says. "But, I didn't have a good role model for what a mom is supposed to be. I don't have the first clue how to be a mom." I tell her as a tear rolls down my face. Juan looks at me and I wave off that I'm fine. He doesn't believe me and comes over. "Talk to me babe. What's wrong?" he asked. "I'm okay. I was just thinking is all." I tell him. He takes my hand and leads me to the dorm. "Talk to me." he says softly. "Are you not happy about the baby?" he asked. I look at him with wide eyes and say "I'm very happy about the baby but I'm scared. I don't know anything about being a mom. I mean, mine shoved me off on the club first chance she got. I'm just scared that I won't know what to do and will turn out like my mom." I tell him. "Look at me. You are not her. You are an amazing person. I see you with Abel and Thomas. I see you with Opie's kids. You are a natural. I have faith in you." he says and I start to cry again. Fucking hormones.

We walk back out to the main room after I splash water on my face. "You feel better now?" Gemma asked. "Yeah. I do." I say. "Good. I came to check on you and heard what your Old Man said. What you have there, sweetheart, is solid. As far as being a mom? You are going to make an amazing mom because I will be there to help you along the way." she tells me and I move to her to hug her. "Thanks Ma." I tell her. We sit at the bar and one of the prospects asked if I wanted another water and I nodded my head yes. "Congrats by the way, Manda. Gemma's right, you are going to be a great mom. We all see how you are with Juice and all the club kids. You got this." he tells me. "Thanks Sack." I tell him.

We are all still at the clubhouse later that evening, and I start to yawn. "You tired baby?" Juan asked. "A little." I tell him. "Come on. Let's head to bed." he tells me. "That's okay. You hang out here a while. I'll be okay." I tell him. "Nope. You go to bed, I do too." he tells me before kissing me softly. He takes my hand and walks me to our dorm and once inside, we get undressed and climb into bed. I lay with my back to him and he has his hand on my stomach, rubbing it. "You want a boy or a girl?" he asked softly. "I want a boy first." I tell him. "First?" he asked. I turn in his arms and look him in the eye and say "I never thought I wanted kids. Until you. Now I want a house full." I tell him. "Good. I do too. I want a big family." he tells me. We talk a little longer before we both fall into a restful sleep.

Waking up the next morning, I feel Juan kissing the side of my neck. "Come on baby. We gotta get up." He says. We get up and dressed and head out to the main room. The smell of the bacon makes my stomach growl but the smell of the sausage makes me run the other way, sick. "You okay baby?" he asked as he follows me into the bathroom. I empty what little was still in my stomach from the night before and say "Yeah. Baby doesn't like sausage I guess." I laugh. He asked "You gonna be able to eat?" I just looked at him and nodded.

We walk to the table and I go to get our food and he tells me to sit down. "I got it. You don't need to be near that much sausage." Juan says. I nod and he kisses me softly and says "I love you." before walking over to make our plates.