chapter 2

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I sat staring off into space in class a few days later. I was sitting in history and for some reason, I could not focus on what he had to say. I had seen Cyrus walk by before I was determined to see him pass again. Cyrus and I had talked more and we got to know each other more and more each day.

"Isn't Cyrus the nicest person ever?" Buffy said showing me her phone.

"Huh?" I said as I was ripped from my daydreaming. I looked at her phone. Cyrus had written a whole paragraph about how she needed caffeine and he would get her coffee after school because she would not survive if she didn't do something. I smiled at it not fully understanding why.

"Yea, he is," I agreed. Buffy and I had made up in the 8th grade. Neither of us wanted to admit that we could be really good friends at the time. We play basketball together but the season hasn't started yet. I talked to her in some classes but I wouldn't consider us friends we just get along now. We were now sitting filling out a worksheet on American history. Buffy was copying my answers cause its only cheating if you get caught right? I rolled my eyes at the thought.

"TJ? Where is your head right now?" Buffy asked me clearly noticing I was not acting normal.

"Um... I don't really know," I answered.

"Yea?" she asked.

"Yea," I sighed. She gave me a questioning look and continued to copy off of my paper. I kept thinking about how well Cyrus and I had gotten along. I thought about how easy it was to talk to him. It just kind of happened that first day in art class. Buffy sighed and I shot her a glance.

I was laying on my bed. My back was on the bed and my legs hanging off the end. I was looking up at the ceiling listening to music from my computer. My Spotify was playing and I was just listening to the music. I was interrupted by the sound of Amber walking into my room.

"Hey, Ambs. What's up?" I asked not looking at her.

"I feel like Andi knows that I like her," she said. How did I know it would be about Andi?

"Yea?" I asked. I looked at her as she nodded her head and sat down on the beanbag. I remembered the day Amber had come out to me.

The house was quiet. Mom and dad were out for the night and I could hear Amber's footsteps on the stairs. My computer screen was bright as I watched The Office. The rest of the room was dark except for the hallway light that was flooding through the open door. Amber appeared in the doorway and immediately flipped the lights on.

"Amber," I said squinting, not used to the sudden brightness.

"Teej," she said in a way that concerned me. I sat up on the bed moving my computer from my lap. I shut the screen and placed it next to me on the bed. Amber came and sat down in front of me. She sat legs crossed on the bed pulling the blanket I wasn't already using onto her lap. I looked up at her and she looked me in the eyes.

"Promise you would never judge me?" she said sticking her pinky out in front of me.

"I won't judge you. But I'm confused," I said taking her pinky with mine.

"I think I like Grace," she spat.

"Like... Like-like? Not just since she's you know your friend," I said still confused.

"Yes, TJ," she said sure of herself. A smile spread across my face. I nearly knocked her off the bed when I engulfed her in a hug. I was only 13 at the time but I knew what she was trying to tell me.

"I would never judge you for that Ambs," I said not letting go.

"I know," she said and I could hear the happiness in her voice. I knew that happy tears streaked her face but I didn't judge that.

I smiled at the memory of my older sister. Now she was in my room telling me her girl drama and I could tell her mine while she was at it.

"So, you're afraid Andi knows you like her?" I asked confused about what the issue was.

"Yes," she said flatly.

"What's the problem with that?" I asked clearly confused.

"Because she doesn't like girls. She dated Jonah."

"I think you're forgetting the fact that you dated Jonah too," I reminded her.

A smug smile spread across her face, "You're right!" And with that, she was bounding out of my room like Tiger from Winnie the Pooh.

I stood up from my bed and walked over to my computer. The song Drugs & The Internet started to play.

I traded all my friends for drugs and the internet

Ah, shit am I a winner yet?

Look quick, is he a winner yet?

Mom's back home with a drink and a cigarette

I picked up the water bottle that sat on my nightstand and used it as microphone. I danced around my room until I needed to catch my breath. I thought about how I liked going to school because I got to see my friends and how Cyrus made art so much better. If he wasn't in my class I wouldn't have anyone to talk to since the rest of the class in underclassman. There was one girl who was a senior who sat in the back and drew or painted, I saw some of her work in the hallway, she's really good.

At 6:30 Amber found her way back to my room. She sat right back down on the bean bag and placed the pillow in her lap.

"So, how's Emily?" she asked. I wasn't expecting that. I hadn't thought about Emily much since I started talking to Cyrus. I hadn't even talked to her and to be honest it didn't bother me.

"Why?" I managed to say.

"I dunno. Do you still like her?" she questioned.

"I guess so," I answered. My phone buzzed with a snap chat notification.

Cyrus Goodman has added you as a friend.

I smiled and fell back onto my bed.

"Teej?" Amber said clearly confused.

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