my best friend: a tyrus fanfiction

chapter 3

I explained everything to Amber, from the first day of school until now.

"Teej, do you like Cyrus?" her question caught me off guard. I realized I was looking down at my hands. My eyes met hers as I thought about it. No, why would I like Cyrus? I like Emily. I convinced myself.

"No," I shook my head and she gave me a disbelieving look.

"It's ok if you do," she assured me.

"I know. But I don't," I said surer this time.

"Ok, well I need to do my essay that I was supposed to do over the summer," she stood up and walked out of the room.

Did I like Cyrus?

I found myself wide awake that night as I laid in bed. The familiar sound of my parent's bickering was muffled by my closed door. I sighed as I looked up at the ceiling above me. I couldn't get him out of my head as I laid awake. I had snapchatted him a few times that night and I couldn't stop thinking about him now. I would know if I liked him. Amber is my best friend and I knew she wouldn't judge me cause she likes Andi. I thought about the conversation in my head and how it would go. I knew what I needed to say but I knew the words would be hard to get out. Why would I talk to her now if I don't have a clue anymore? I won't talk to Amber cause I know that she will try to convince me I like him and I don't. But what if you do? Those words kept ringing through my mind. But what if you do? I'm TJ Kippen, I don't like boys. At that point, my head was spinning. I was tired but my mind wouldn't rest. I wanted to sleep but my brain said 'no',

I was sitting on my bed and Amber was sitting on the beanbag. My hands were sweaty and my heart was pounding. She was smiling at me and I knew it would be okay. I took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. My head was spinning.

"Amber?" It came out as a whisper. Not that I wanted it to.

"If you don't want to tell me it's okay," she said supportively.

"No, I want to. It's just-"

"Not easy," she finished.

All of a sudden the door swung open.

I was torn from the dream. I was now sitting up in my bed and it was almost as if it was hard to breathe. It was still dark outside and I fell back onto the pillow. I didn't want to analyze that dream right now. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I turned over and closed my eyes letting myself drift back to sleep.

The next morning I got dressed like normal and went to school. I sat in class waiting for art class to finally come. When the bell rang I jumped up from my seat and made my way down the hall. I stopped when I saw Cyrus standing by the window. He was wearing a white sweatshirt with black writing. He had on a pair of jeans and converse. I recognized the sweatshirt because I knew I had it.

"Hey. Cyrus! I have that sweatsh-" I stopped myself and looked down at my outfit, "I'm wearing that sweatshirt."

He laughed, "I guess we match."

"Pretty perfectly, too," I added.

We both looked over each other and laughed. We sat down and began to doodle in notebooks while the rest of the class arrived. We talked about whatever came to mind.

"Ok, so today we will be starting a new project. We are going to drawing each other. So pick a partner and sit with them," Mrs.Barnello. Cyrus and I looked at each other, neither one of us moving.

"Partners?" He asked. I nodded and smiled at him.

Cyrus was preparing to draw me. I sat on top of a stool and he sat across from me. Our knees were only a few inches apart. Cyrus held a sketch pad and pencil and was focused on his work. I talked while he drew.

"TJ, stop moving," Cyrus complained.

"Sorry," I said with a laugh.

By the end of class, we hadn't gotten much done. I couldn't sit still and we hadn't stopped talking.

I got home a little later than normal because I needed to talk to my math teacher. I walked into the house to find Amber and Andi on the couch. They were just talking but it felt odd interesting them.

"Hey, Amber. Oh, hey Andi," I said as if I hadn't seen the two when I opened the door. I walked up the stairs to my room and turned on my computer. I played my music and looked down at the desk. A million thoughts ran through my head. Do I like Cyrus? It doesn't feel like the times I liked girls. I don't get butterflies when I see him but my mind is a mess when he's in the room. I find myself waiting for his snapchats and when his name pops up on my screen I immediately answer. When I snapchat him I try to look good. But you don't like boys, TJ.

"Ugh!" I groaned as I slid my chair away from the desk, "I need to stop."

I pulled on a pair of sneakers and walked to the door.

"I'm going to play basketball," I announced to the house and walked out the door and towards my car.

Hey guys! I have a few things. Sorry that it's so short, I'm not very good at writing long chapters. I am so sorry for not posting! It's been crazy recently. Also, I'm so sorry if I don't post tomorrow cause it's my birthday. I really wanted to talk about this chapter though. So I know that TJ's thoughts are really confusing and I feel bad that it's kind of hard to follow. I wanted it to be confusing cause he's clearly confused and it's kind of like a walk through my head right now. He's kind of going between thinking he's straight but then also having no damn clue and I couldn't relate more. I hope you guys like it so far!