my best friend: a tyrus fanfiction

chapter 8

The sound the whole ride home was the music I was playing through my phone. Amber had plans after school today so I was alone in my car. It was a sunny day but it wasn't necessarily the warmest day. The leaves had been changing for a while now and the ground was filled with them. Cyrus and I hadn't really gotten in trouble with Metcalf, we had to apologize to our teacher and clean the art room, we also had to help set up the stadium before the game this Friday. Amber won't be home for an hour so I have that long to get myself together. I can do that. I sighed as I thought about everything. I know what I need to say but I know that it's going to be hard to say it. I can say it to myself but not to anyone else.

"I like Cyrus," I said to myself. I can say it to the universe but not to another person.

The house was quiet. The loudest part was my thoughts. If anyone else was home, I was convinced they would be able to hear the battle in my head. Nothing could take my mind off of my new realization. I tried to sit down and do my homework but there was no part of me that was willing to focus on math. Everything seemed to be failing and I knew that the only thing I could do was tell Amber. Getting it off my chest would make me feel so much better.

I took a deep breath and stood up from my bed. I opened the door and the quiet house settled around me. My heart was pounding and I was convinced the whole world could hear it. Amber's bedroom door seemed to be calling me as I looked down the hallway. I knew I was going to freak out but right now that didn't matter.

"Amber," I took a deep breath, "Can I talk to you."

"Yea, of course. What's up?" She looked up from her computer as she sat on her bed. The walls of her room were white and grey accents were everywhere. Her bedding and pillows were both greys. Pictures filled the room. Some of them were of her and me when we were little and some were from recently. There were pictures with her friends and the rest of our family. The lights were out and the only source of light was the lamp on her nightstand. She closed the top of her computer so it was at a 30-degree angle. She patted the bed in front of her singling me to sit down. I watched as she crossed her legs so she was sitting criss-cross-applesauce on the bed with her computer in her lap. I sat down at the end of the bed and faced her. I sat the same way she was and placed my hands in my lap as I played with them. I was nervous, really nervous. I knew she wouldn't judge me but I was still afraid. I mean Amber liked girls so she would definitely be happy for me but for some reason I was still scared.

"I um... don't know how to put this," I said, my hands starting to shake from the nerves.

"It's all good. Take as long as you need okay?" I knew she loved me. She always will, TJ. I nodded.

"I like... Cyrus," I relaxed when I heard myself say it. You did it. She smiled at me so wide I almost didn't know someone was capable of smiling like that.

"TJ, I'm so proud of you. I love you," She said engulfing me in a hug. I stayed in her arms for what felt like hours. When we let go I frowned.

"Except... I don't know if-"

"You don't know if you're gay," I nodded and looked back down at my hands."And there's nothing wrong with that." I smiled at her.

"I love you, Amb," I was so happy I didn't know how I felt.

"I love you more," she argued and I didn't argue back, "So Cyrus huh?"

I laughed, "Yea."

I found myself talking to Amber until 10:30 that night. We talked about Cyrus and Andi, and whatever else we could think of. Talking to Amber made me feel complete. It was as if she was the part of me that I was missing. Today was an exhausting day and I could not stay up for much longer.

"I'm going to go to bed Amb. Goodnight. I love you," I said as I gathered myself.

"Goodnight Teej. I love you too," before I left the room she said, "I'm proud of you."

I smiled, "And I'm proud of you."

"Why?" she laughed. I shrugged knowing that she knew what I was talking about.

The next day, I came home from school and opened my notebook. I opened up to the page I had written about Cyrus on. The page was now full. Pink hearts filled the empty space and black pen filled the spaces I had left blank. Amber. She had added comments to the things I had written and drawn. I felt as if I couldn't be mad at her for reading it because the things she had added made me happy. I admired the page reading every word and examining every drawing.

"Amber!" I called hoping she would hear me.

"Yes?" She said appearing in my doorway only seconds later.

"What was this for?" I held up the page to show her.

"TJ, do you hear yourself," I was confused, "That was the cutest thing I think I have ever read. You subconsciously wrote this stuff down. I just- It was so cute I needed to add to it. You're adorable Teej."

I could feel my face reddening. "You really think so?" I asked pointing to the words don't worry he likes you on the bottom of the page.

"Definitely."

"When have you seen us together?"

"The Spoon." I immediately remembered the game only a few days before. Cyrus and I must have been looking at each other. Amber must have said goodbye to us to make it seem like she was going to go home but she was really going to stay to see how I acted around him. She said to me not too long ago that I liked him. But I denied it. I would never deny it to anyone again, especially myself.

"You're going to the game with him on Friday, right?"

"Yea," I answered. She raised her eyebrows twice before turning around and walking out of my room. I rolled my eyes and began to do my homework.

I'm so sorry I haven't posted! I hope you like it! Yes, it is 1 am and I want to go to sleep so that is why this is such a short note here. Love you all! Also, I made that journal page (I was inspired by something I saw on Instagram)